Week 42 Weigh In

 Well, this past week has been challenging, to say the least. My mother has been diagnosed with metastatic cancer, and we're just waiting for information about how serious it is. And, yup, I fell right back into my old habits of eating my feelings. I both ate to excess and ate when I wasn't hungry, and this isn't how I want to be. After 42 weeks on Ozempic, I had hoped that I would have been building healthier habits.

I just didn't want to care at the time. I stopped tracking. I even stopped eating my healthier snacks because I didn't want to "waste" them. I had definitely swung entirely out of weightloss mode and into depression/anxiety eating.

And while yes, I have a good "excuse", this recalls a previous post of mine talking about maintenance and reminding myself that life is always going to throw us curveballs. Some, sadly, will be thrown a little harder than others, but I have to learn to deal with them without turning to the refrigerator if I want to keep the weight off.

Because of the stress, I'm honestly not sure if I regained weight because of mental food noise (although I did notice some) or just because I was binging. I had been on the fence about whether to give it another week before restarting Ozempic but I really want to put a stop to this before it gets out of hand and I gain back more than a few pounds. Then I'll feel even worse than I do now.

While I didn't make the best choices over the past week or so, I'm going to count my choice to focus on my health again as a minor victory. I am not going to continue eating for the sake of eating. And honestly, I miss being able to enjoy a portion of something without needing to eat it all. I definitely didn't notice my stop point anymore, and again, whether that was the medication missing or the depression talking, I can't be sure.

I have been trying to pick up exercising again but I need to start even more slowly than I thought. I exhaust easily. One day at a time; I'll build back up and get to where I was.

Baby steps. After all, this is my life. One minor derailment isn't going to take me off course.

As for dosing, I'm not quite sure what I intend yet. Convention wisdom is when you miss three or more doses, to start again at 0.25mg, while if you have missed only two to stay at your current dose. I'm not entirely sold on this because I do think that the recommended dosing schedule increases too sharply, too rapidly. I am concerned if I take my next dose at 0.5mg that the side effects will come roaring back and if I'm not entirely healed from my infection that I will make things worse. After all, if you look at my progression below, you'll see that I stayed on 0.25mg for 15 weeks and then increased slowly over time. It took me over another 15 weeks to make it to 0.5mg, and I'm happy that I chose to do things this way because I have had very minor side effects generally. Did I perhaps slow down my weight loss because there was no "jump" to shock my body? Maybe, but that certainly isn't my primary concern. Ultimately, what does it matter if it takes me a few extra weeks or months to lose weight? Again, this is my life, and I'd much rather be tolerating the medication well with limited side effects versus losing a little more quickly (which isn't even a guarantee; simply potential). I will update later on with what I choose to take tonight.

Start Date: November 7, 2022  0.25mg

OZ Week 1 loss: 3.4lbs

OZ Week 2 loss: 2.2 lbs
OZ Week 3 gain: 2.0lbs

OZ Week 4 loss: 4.4lbs

OZ Week 5 loss: 1.4lbs

OZ Week 6 loss: 2.4lbs

OZ Week 7: skipped weigh in  0.39mg (used "bonus bit" in the pen)

OZ Week 8 gain: 4.4lbs  back to 0.25mg (started exercising seriously)

OZ Week 9 loss: 6.6lbs

OZ Week 10 loss: 2.0lbs

OZ Week 11 loss: 2.4lbs

OZ Week 12 loss: 2.4lbs

OZ Week 13 loss: 2.6lbs

OZ Week 14 loss: 1.6lbs

OZ Week 15 loss: 0.4lbs (took booster dose halfway through the week, so 0.25mg + 0.33mg)

OZ Week 16 loss: 4lbs  raised dose to 0.38mg

OZ Week 17 loss: 0.6lbs

OZ Week 18 loss: 5.6lbs

OZ Week 19 gain: 2.4lbs

OZ Week 20 loss: 2.6lbs

OZ Week 21 loss: 2.0lbs raised dose to 0.40mg

OZ Week 22 loss: 2.8lbs raised dose to 0.42mg

OZ Week 23 loss: 0.6lbs raised dose to 0.44mg

OZ Week 24 loss: 1.4lbs

OZ Week 25 loss: 3.4lbs

OZ Week 26 gain: 1.0lbs

OZ Week 27 loss: 3.8lbs

OZ Week 28 gain: 2.0lbs

OZ Week 29 loss: 1.0lbs

OZ Week 30 loss: 1.6lbs raised dose to 0.46mg

OZ Week 31 loss: 2.2lbs raised dose to 0.50mg

OZ Week 32 loss: 1.2lbs

OZ Week 33 loss: 0.8lbs

OZ Week 34 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 35 on vacation: no weigh in
OZ Week 36 gain: 8.4lbs

OZ Week 37 loss: 6.0lbs

OZ Week 38 loss: 4.6lbs

OZ Week 39 gain: 0.6lbs

OZ Week 40 loss: 1.8lbs 

OZ Week 41 loss: 0.6lbs skipped dose on dr orders

OZ Week 42 gain: 2.4lbs skipped dose on dr orders

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 57.6lbs

Temporarily Stopping Meds

 My most recent dose of Ozempic was on August 7, so I've skipped two doses on doctor's orders to try and recover from the parasite I picked up. Since I took antibiotics, that should help, but my body still has to expel the parasites and given slower digestion, temporarily stopping the Ozempic is intended to help get my system moving again.

Also, I'm still not back to my normal self. While many of my symptoms have resolved, I still have the massive crushing fatigue that kept me in bed for most of three weeks. My stomach is also still temperamental and mostly preferring simple and bland foods like yogurt, bananas, toast, and other white carbs like muffins or similar. I actually did decide to stop tracking at all for the moments because it really doesn't matter if I'm way carb heavy or over my calories; right now the most important thing is getting better. If simple carbs are what is helping me feel better, I'm all for that.

I woke up hungry this morning, but that's no different than most other days. I have written about my disordered thinking about hunger before that I think many of us on Ozempic share at least at the beginning- that hunger is a bad thing. It's not. Hunger is normal. Not wanting to feel hungry is the part that's disordered and unhealthy! Food really is part of the enjoyment of life, and anticipation is part of that. Not to mention, hunger is just a plain old signal from our body about what it needs. 

What used to scare me was that hunger meant I would overeat, but it doesn't have to mean that. I get hungry, but can still eat my small portions and be satisfied. I just have to continue to pay attention to my body's cues and stop when no longer hungry. I still believe I have a disordered idea of what "full" means, and I wonder if this is a shared experience with others. I think that people without an eating disorder may consider "full" as "not hungry", while I used to consider that "full" meant "stuffed", which obviously isn't a good way to nourish my body. If food tasted good, I would keep eating it until I didn't have room for any more, because it continued tasting good and I'd want more and more. I'm much happier now to be able to have small portions of foods I love without eating until I'm uncomfortable. I can have a reasonable serving, and while I generally don't get the "hard stop" I used to have when I first started Oz back in November, I can still feel like I've had enough and don't need more. I have started to notice that when I get distracted and forget I'm eating for a while; either losing myself in conversation or whatever else I might be doing at the time, that is generally a pretty good sign that I am full- whether my stomach feels that way or not.

So, ten days from my last dose, I'm not noticing a huge change in my appetite. I am finding myself thinking about food a bit more, but that may be the result of needing to figure out what my stomach will be happy eating, which is again a result of the illness and not the Ozempic.

I have noticed increased bowel movements, which is great- that's what I need so that I can get this cleared out! I don't think much else has changed so far. That being said, once I get clearance, I do plan to restart my Ozempic because it's been so good for my health. I am not on this medication for weight loss alone but to control my type 2 diabetes, and it's been wonderful for that! I've had to postpone my recent bloodwork because of my illness but hoping to get that taken care of soon.

The exhaustion has been really hard, though. I know I lost some of my stamina simply from being ill and spending so long in bed, but I didn't realize how much that would impact me when added to the fatigue of illness. I tried on Monday to start getting back on track with my exercise, and I did a 30 minute Easy Start video, which is generally pretty low impact and before my illness was less intense than I was looking for in terms of exercise. Well, my heart rate just rocketed up, which isn't a great sign, and yesterday I was so exhausted that I could barely move. My fitness app told me that I'd exceeded healthy exercise and needed to rest. WOW! So I guess it will be slower working my way back than I had hoped.

It really is disappointing to see that I'm softer around the middle than I was in July, and I may have regained some inches back there. I don't know for sure because I haven't taken measurements- that was a bit too much tracking for me and I figured I'd see it in my clothes. I also miss the endorphins that I'd get from the exercise. Even if I didn't enjoy it, there were a lot of positive benefits that came from moving my body regularly. I'd been working so hard for six months and had settled into a good routine. I'm not happy to get derailed!

But that's also part of life. Things happen that make it harder for us to make healthy choices. We get tired or sick, or have stressful events happen. Coping with them is part of how we learn to make lasting changes in our lives, without letting temporary derailments become permanent ones.

So, I rested yesterday, and I'll rest again today because I have a busy day tomorrow with an event for my son and I can't risk being that fatigued for it. I might even need to rest Friday if I get exhausted Thursday. But there's always the weekend, and then I'll be right back up on that horse. Maybe it won't be a very long or intense workout, but it will be a step on the road in the right direction.

I worked hard, and I'm proud of myself for that. And I know that exercise is making me healthier and potentially lengthening my life (at least by natural causes). As I've said before, I did what I wanted for so many years and look where it got me. It's time to give my body what it needs as well.

Week 41 Weigh In!

 Well, there's a nice round number I'm happy to see! Has my rate of weight loss slowed down? Yup, I'm just a wee bit shy of 1.5lbs per week. Am I unhappy about it? Heck no! Slow loss is healthier for your body and more sustainable to manage- and this still isn't slow! Think about it- 1.5lbs per week is about 75lbs per year, and that's a LOT of weight! Remember, weight loss isn't a sprint; it's a marathon. Not to mention, once you hit the finish line, you find that the journey hasn't ended, it's just changed- like you!

I'm still not back at 100% yet. I had a doctor's appointment this morning and she thinks that the Ozempic has prolonged the illness and exacerbated the symptoms, which makes sense. She wants me to take a second week off the medication until I'm back to my baseline again. I hope it won't be too much of a shock to my system to restart again, but there's no sense in making myself sicker right now, so another week off it is.

It's been interesting seeing the differences in myself when I'm off the medication, but I'm not sure how many of them are psychosomatic. I think I have some of the food noise back, but it's not as oppressive as it used to be- yet. I guess we'll see how it goes this week.

I did notice a tendency to think that I can be a little more loosey-goosey with what I'm eating because I'm not on the meds, but that's not because anything makes me sick or whatnot so I'm not really sure why I'm thinking it? There is nothing that I can't eat in small portions while on the meds. I think maybe this is related to being sick where I am still seeking comfort foods that won't upset my stomach on the illness. 

Also, I noticed that while the stop signal preventing me from eating is much lessened, that doesn't mean I'm actually hungrier for more food. Paying attention to my own cues is still keeping me eating reasonable portion sizes.

I was surprised that I actually lost weight this week, since I wasn't tracking my calories on Lose It but simply trying to feel okay again. Would I expect that trend to continue at this level of activity and mindfulness? No. I've still got to put in the work myself to get my body healthier.

I've been able to do some light activity this week, but definitely at a lower intensity and shorter duration than I was previously. It's disappointing, but that's life. I worked my way up before, I can do it again. What matters is not giving up.

Start Date: November 7, 2022  0.25mg

OZ Week 1 loss: 3.4lbs

OZ Week 2 loss: 2.2 lbs
OZ Week 3 gain: 2.0lbs

OZ Week 4 loss: 4.4lbs

OZ Week 5 loss: 1.4lbs

OZ Week 6 loss: 2.4lbs

OZ Week 7: skipped weigh in  0.39mg (used "bonus bit" in the pen)

OZ Week 8 gain: 4.4lbs  back to 0.25mg (started exercising seriously)

OZ Week 9 loss: 6.6lbs

OZ Week 10 loss: 2.0lbs

OZ Week 11 loss: 2.4lbs

OZ Week 12 loss: 2.4lbs

OZ Week 13 loss: 2.6lbs

OZ Week 14 loss: 1.6lbs

OZ Week 15 loss: 0.4lbs (took booster dose halfway through the week, so 0.25mg + 0.33mg)

OZ Week 16 loss: 4lbs  raised dose to 0.38mg

OZ Week 17 loss: 0.6lbs

OZ Week 18 loss: 5.6lbs

OZ Week 19 gain: 2.4lbs

OZ Week 20 loss: 2.6lbs

OZ Week 21 loss: 2.0lbs raised dose to 0.40mg

OZ Week 22 loss: 2.8lbs raised dose to 0.42mg

OZ Week 23 loss: 0.6lbs raised dose to 0.44mg

OZ Week 24 loss: 1.4lbs

OZ Week 25 loss: 3.4lbs

OZ Week 26 gain: 1.0lbs

OZ Week 27 loss: 3.8lbs

OZ Week 28 gain: 2.0lbs

OZ Week 29 loss: 1.0lbs

OZ Week 30 loss: 1.6lbs raised dose to 0.46mg

OZ Week 31 loss: 2.2lbs raised dose to 0.50mg

OZ Week 32 loss: 1.2lbs

OZ Week 33 loss: 0.8lbs

OZ Week 34 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 35 on vacation: no weigh in
OZ Week 36 gain: 8.4lbs

OZ Week 37 loss: 6.0lbs

OZ Week 38 loss: 4.6lbs

OZ Week 39 gain: 0.6lbs

OZ Week 40 loss: 1.8lbs 

OZ Week 41 loss: 0.6lbs skipped dose on dr orders

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 60lbs

Week 40 Weigh In!

 Well, this is a fun one. I could have grown a baby in this time! Instead, I have lost the equivalent of about 7 of them! It's funny; weight loss generally feels slow, no matter how quick it actually is. Taking a period of time like this and seeing HOW MUCH your body really can change is kind of incredible. 

I think I'm finally really starting to see the weight loss in myself. Unfortunately it means when I'm looking back at pictures of myself over the last few years, the first thing I see is how much fatter my face was, and that makes me sad. I don't want that to be an important factor in how I look back at my memories. I took pictures of moments that were special to me, things that I want to remember, and the size of my body shouldn't be important in those moments! Hopefully over time this will lessen. Body dysmorphia really isn't a lot of fun. 

Believe it or not, I've still been pretty sick, and that's been awful. I feel like I've been missing out on summer since I've spent most of three weeks in bed. The exhaustion has been hard, the brain fog, and of course the digestive issues. I'm considering skipping my shot tonight since I was supposed to miss it when I was on the antibiotics but had already taken it. I'm wondering if having my digestion slowed down means that it's taking longer for the bacteria to get out of my system and that's why I'm still sick. I have a follow up with my doctor but not for another week, unfortunately.

I also still haven't been able to exercise, due to the lack of energy. I'm frustrated because I feel like I'll be starting back at zero again after missing an entire month, but there isn't much to be done about it. I'm not going to quit though and let it derail my progress. I might hate exercise, but my body loves it, and after all this time of not taking care of myself, I think it's time to do what I need instead of what I want. So if I have to start small and work my way back up, that's what I'll do, even if it sucks to lose my progress. Baby steps are better than no steps! I'm still not ready for intense exercise yet but I'm going to try and go for a walk today. Doing something partway is still ahead of doing nothing.

I just really, really hope to be feeling better soon and to have some energy back. I miss coming up with new recipes to share with you all and documenting my progress with Walk at Home.

Start Date: November 7, 2022  0.25mg

OZ Week 1 loss: 3.4lbs

OZ Week 2 loss: 2.2 lbs
OZ Week 3 gain: 2.0lbs

OZ Week 4 loss: 4.4lbs

OZ Week 5 loss: 1.4lbs

OZ Week 6 loss: 2.4lbs

OZ Week 7: skipped weigh in  0.39mg (used "bonus bit" in the pen)

OZ Week 8 gain: 4.4lbs  back to 0.25mg (started exercising seriously)

OZ Week 9 loss: 6.6lbs

OZ Week 10 loss: 2.0lbs

OZ Week 11 loss: 2.4lbs

OZ Week 12 loss: 2.4lbs

OZ Week 13 loss: 2.6lbs

OZ Week 14 loss: 1.6lbs

OZ Week 15 loss: 0.4lbs (took booster dose halfway through the week, so 0.25mg + 0.33mg)

OZ Week 16 loss: 4lbs  raised dose to 0.38mg

OZ Week 17 loss: 0.6lbs

OZ Week 18 loss: 5.6lbs

OZ Week 19 gain: 2.4lbs

OZ Week 20 loss: 2.6lbs

OZ Week 21 loss: 2.0lbs raised dose to 0.40mg

OZ Week 22 loss: 2.8lbs raised dose to 0.42mg

OZ Week 23 loss: 0.6lbs raised dose to 0.44mg

OZ Week 24 loss: 1.4lbs

OZ Week 25 loss: 3.4lbs

OZ Week 26 gain: 1.0lbs

OZ Week 27 loss: 3.8lbs

OZ Week 28 gain: 2.0lbs

OZ Week 29 loss: 1.0lbs

OZ Week 30 loss: 1.6lbs raised dose to 0.46mg

OZ Week 31 loss: 2.2lbs raised dose to 0.50mg

OZ Week 32 loss: 1.2lbs

OZ Week 33 loss: 0.8lbs

OZ Week 34 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 35 on vacation: no weigh in
OZ Week 36 gain: 8.4lbs

OZ Week 37 loss: 6.0lbs

OZ Week 38 loss: 4.6lbs

OZ Week 39 gain: 0.6lbs

OZ Week 40 loss: 1.8lbs

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 59.4lbs

Week 39 Weigh In!

 Well, it's been a rough week. Again, I've spent most of it flat on my back in bed, which hasn't been a lot of fun. I'm getting really tired of being so sick I can't even get up, let alone do housework or exercise. It's been a month since I've had a really good workout (including the time I was out of town) and I'm worried that I'm going to lose all my previous gains. I'm just hoping I feel better soon.

Aside from everything else, it's summer and I want to spend time with my son, not be stuck in bed too tired to even watch a movie!

I did weigh myself this morning, but I'm not expecting it to really mean much for the next week or so. I know that a lot of the weight I lost was water weight from my stomach bug and dehydration, and right now I'm eating whatever my stomach thinks sounds good without worrying about the calories. It's probably going to take a couple of weeks for my body to regulate again, which will likely involve weight gain as I increase my fluids when my stomach can handle it. 

That's OK- one day at a time. If I push too hard, I'm just going to end up sick and exhausted again, and that's not good for me or anyone else.

Start Date: November 7, 2022  0.25mg

OZ Week 1 loss: 3.4lbs

OZ Week 2 loss: 2.2 lbs
OZ Week 3 gain: 2.0lbs

OZ Week 4 loss: 4.4lbs

OZ Week 5 loss: 1.4lbs

OZ Week 6 loss: 2.4lbs

OZ Week 7: skipped weigh in  0.39mg (used "bonus bit" in the pen)

OZ Week 8 gain: 4.4lbs  back to 0.25mg (started exercising seriously)

OZ Week 9 loss: 6.6lbs

OZ Week 10 loss: 2.0lbs

OZ Week 11 loss: 2.4lbs

OZ Week 12 loss: 2.4lbs

OZ Week 13 loss: 2.6lbs

OZ Week 14 loss: 1.6lbs

OZ Week 15 loss: 0.4lbs (took booster dose halfway through the week, so 0.25mg + 0.33mg)

OZ Week 16 loss: 4lbs  raised dose to 0.38mg

OZ Week 17 loss: 0.6lbs

OZ Week 18 loss: 5.6lbs

OZ Week 19 gain: 2.4lbs

OZ Week 20 loss: 2.6lbs

OZ Week 21 loss: 2.0lbs raised dose to 0.40mg

OZ Week 22 loss: 2.8lbs raised dose to 0.42mg

OZ Week 23 loss: 0.6lbs raised dose to 0.44mg

OZ Week 24 loss: 1.4lbs

OZ Week 25 loss: 3.4lbs

OZ Week 26 gain: 1.0lbs

OZ Week 27 loss: 3.8lbs

OZ Week 28 gain: 2.0lbs

OZ Week 29 loss: 1.0lbs

OZ Week 30 loss: 1.6lbs raised dose to 0.46mg

OZ Week 31 loss: 2.2lbs raised dose to 0.50mg

OZ Week 32 loss: 1.2lbs

OZ Week 33 loss: 0.8lbs

OZ Week 34 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 35 on vacation: no weigh in
OZ Week 36 gain: 8.4lbs

OZ Week 37 loss: 6.0lbs

OZ Week 38 loss: 4.6lbs

OZ Week 39 gain: 0.6lbs

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 57.6lbs