Some days are harder than others

I try to stay positive and upbeat in this blog, but I have my down days, too. There have been so many good things lately- reaching 40lbs lost, fitting into my wedding rings again, and other non scale victories. Then I look at myself in a full length mirror and I just want to cry. I still just see a big fatty looking back. I know I can't expect it all to just melt off and I'm still doing so well, but emotions aren't logical and I'm having a harder time coping than I thought I would.

I tried to go buy some new pants since the jeans I was wearing are far too baggy around the waist (I can pull them off without undoing the button), but apparently my figure has redistributed since I had my son because I can't fit into clothes that I used to wear at this weight. It really brought me down and I left the fitting room feeling so ashamed.

I've also decided to change my final goal- you'll note that when you see my ticker. I'm going for broke since I know I can get there eventually- it's just hard in the meantime not seeing the changes in myself. At 40lbs, I was hoping to really notice a difference, and I don't. I know I'm my own worst critic, but it's still hard. All I can do is stick to it and know that eventually I WILL achieve my goal weight and be able to smile at the person I see in the mirror.

I have some more food reviews to share and I'll try to get them up in the next day or so.