Week 115 Weigh In!

 Well, this week has gotten away from me a little bit. The grief rollercoaster is not a fun ride. I meant to be writing more but just haven't gotten to it. I do have a partially written post about Creami recipes I've been playing with and when I get a couple more, I'll definitely share them. It's been a fun toy to distract me and can also make delicious and healthy desserts!

I've still got a ways to go before I'm back to my pre-grief trauma weight, but I'm doing my best. I'm glad to see that between getting my butt back to F45, back on track with my calorie counting, and upping my dose to 1mg, that the scale has been cooperating. I hope it continues to do so because I still haven't given up on my HealthyWager, although the timing is getting very tight now. I had no idea that this past year was going to be such a disaster, obviously, or I wouldn't even have considered placing a wager. But I think the fact that I haven't given up yet and I'm not completely out of it is a really positive sign. Life might be really hard and I'm struggling, but I'm trying equally hard not to quit on myself. Depression really can be a slippery slope and I don't want to regain all this weight again. That's not the legacy that my loved ones would have wanted to leave me with. So one day at a time, I'm just doing the best that I can.

My Nutrisystem order arrived yesterday! I forgot how much space it can take up in the freezer but I think it'll be nice to have it for a while. I wouldn't want to be on this plan long term especially at full price, and it seems a lot of their rules have changed, but I do like several of the foods. I don't like that you can't just buy what you want a la carte anymore, or even that they don't allow you to add whatever you want to your monthly order- you can pick from the full menu for your monthly meals, but if you want to add more than that there's only a small menu to choose from. I have no idea why or how that makes sense, since I wanted to order extra pepperoni pizza melts, but apparently that isn't possible without buying an Advantage membership where you pay $69 for six months for the privilege of being able to order a la carte. If you're in the US I think you get a shipping discount but that doesn't help Canadians. That being said? At least I can order at all, so there's a plus.

I'm curious to see how else they've modified the actual plan since the last time I ordered. It looks like now they're actually calculating individual calories, which I found interesting, and considerably higher than they were before. Last time, the women's plan was 1100-1400 calories if you had less than 100lbs to lose (add 200 calories if you were very active) and 1500-1700 if you had more than 100lbs to lose. The Numi app is showing 1834 for me, which seems a lot more reasonable and closer to what I've been consuming given the amount of exercise I'm doing at the gym. I don't plan to follow their program exactly but it's a good general guideline! Here is the plan it's given me:

Breakfast: 1 breakfast NS entree, 2 protein servings, 1 low GI carb serving

Morning snack: 1 protein serving, 1 low GI carb serving

Lunch: 1 lunch NS entree, 1 protein serving, 1 low GI carb serving

Afternoon snack: 1 protein serving, 1 low GI carb serving

Dinner: 1 dinner NS entree, 1 protein serving

Dessert: 1 snack NS entree

I can also have up to 3 "extras" a day (up to 35 calories each, so stuff like salad dressing, oil etc) and unlimited free foods (less than 10 calories per serving, stuff like spices and condiments). If you're curious, breakfast, lunch, and snack entrees all are composed of one protein serving and one low GI carb serving, and dinner entrees have one additional protein serving.

Even while not following their program, I have tried to subscribe to this method of spacing out smaller meals. I find with the Ozempic that my stomach is much happier when I eat small meals more frequently. It helps my body learn to be satisfied with smaller portions and also keeps my blood sugars level.

For now, I'm probably just using the NS foods to manage meals where there is nothing planned and I don't have the mental and emotional energy to figure out what I want to eat. Just being able to grab something will make my life a lot easier, I think. Plus- I really like those pepperoni melts and I would totally just buy those if they'd let me! I can't find a comparable substitute being sold anywhere, sadly.

So, onwards. Continuing taking steps forward the best I can, and hopefully the scale continues to cooperate so I can win that prize!

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Year 2 loss: 19.8 lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!)

OZ Weeks 105- 112: on hiatus due to grief

OZ Week 113 gain: 18 lbs raised dose to 1 mg

OZ Week 114 loss: 9.2 lbs

OZ Week 115 loss: 3.4 lbs

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 81.8 lbs

Still Trouble Cooking

 You'd think (or maybe you'd be smart and you wouldn't) that after 8 months of grief and 2 months of a second wave of grief, that I'd be getting back to normal right? Actually no. Even just writing that looks pretty preposterous.

I'm still drowning and having struggles just trying to be a person. I'm angry at how hard it is to do even the smallest things, and sometimes I can't even say why they're hard- I just can't do them. I'm proud that I'm still here, haven't regained all my weight, and still going to the gym. It's at least something for me to focus on.

But I am still really struggling with things like cooking, which makes it difficult to eat reasonably healthy. I'm eating a lot of processed food which also gets expensive, but I just remind myself that this isn't forever and I'm doing my best.

I have been considering restarting Nutrisystem again, just to have the premade food available so that I don't have to wonder what I'm going to eat. It's certainly more expensive than it used to be and with fewer meals, but it might be interesting to try it again and check out the new foods. And they still have pepperoni pizza pockets, which I love. While they do now ship frozen food to Canada (yay!) they only ship monthly deliveries, not a la carte, so instead of just getting breakfasts and lunches which I'd prefer, I'll have to get the 20 meals of each kind plan. I don't love that. But it might be worth it for the convenience. The ready meals I have been ordering are much more expensive per meal, but I tend to buy only lunches and they're a complete lunch with veggies as well. I'd have to add my own for the NS meals. It's something to think about. That being said, if I do sign up there are quite a few promotions active right now. And Nutrisystem lets you stack as many as you can which is always great!

First of all, you can always buy the NS savings cards at Costco US where you pay $79.99 for a $100 gift card ($59.99 when they're on sale!). The Uniquely Yours plan is on sale for $229 for 20 days of meals, plus here are promo codes for free things! HYDRATE gets you a free water bottle, CHOCOLATE gets a chocolate lovers pack, FREESHAKER gets a free shaker bottle, FREECOOKIES gets a 5 pack of cookies, VP224 gets you free chocolate shakes, DMDEC42 gets you something marked "special offer" whatever that is, CART50 gets $50 off, LEAPYEAR reduces the regular price of the plan if you don't have the link for $229, FREESHIPPING7 takes off $49.99 shipping, NS80 takes off $80, HOLIDAYS took off another $50, START gives a protein bar pack, 10SNACKS gives a salty snack pack, RP124 gives a free gift of some sort, SAVE30 takes off $30, FREE10 takes another $10 off. The bottom line is that I got the price down to $109 US and it claims free shipping as well! It's hard to resist honestly.

I've tried several other ready meal programs and I do like them but find them all very expensive. I think Factor is my favourite so far. I buy the Costco gift cards for them too, same rates, but it winds up being $91 CDN for 8 meals. They make great lunches I don't have to think about, they taste a lot better than frozen food, and the macros are well balanced for working out. If you want to give them a try here is a link to save $80 off your order!

Today I just received my first Cook It ready meals order. They look quite nice and with the first few orders promo the value is good. If you would like $45 off your order, please use my link! I haven't tried the meals yet but the portion looks similar to Factor and good in terms of fresh vegetables, etc. I will try them as long as they're discounted (my first order of 4 meals was only $14 delivered), but once they go to the regular price of ~$14 per meal, it's both too expensive for me and not enough value. I could almost go to a restaurant or order takeout for that price. That being said, I'd always get the cheap meals!

I've also tried Instameals, and wasn't super impressed but when they were $5 a meal, I ordered every week. They also are full meals and while they do Indian and South Asian meals very well, it seems like that spice palette gets into everything and it's a little weird to eat a lasagna or stuffed peppers tasting like turmeric or curry powder or the like. I didn't love their food but gave it about a C rating compared to the other services, but that being said you couldn't beat the price. To have ready made meals, including offerings for low carb and high protein, delivered to my door for $5 each, I was willing to eat food that wasn't top tier. Sadly, they've recently increased their price to $10 a meal and so I canceled my subscription after 2 months. There's no referral benefit that I'm aware of, so I can't recommend them at this price.

Hellofresh also has premade meals, which are (surprise!) Factor meals on a more limited menu. That being said, it's a great way to double dip and get a deal on Factor meals twice! If you'd like a totally free week of Hellofresh meals which you can use to pick premade meals (just pay $9.99 shipping), follow my link!

There are a number of other services out there I haven't tried yet. Most of them are outside my price range. While I understand paying for convenience, I just can't spend $12+ on a lunch every day, much as I'd like to. And while the idea of making a crock pot of something sounds easy, it just isn't working for me so I keep looking for other options. I may end up trying other services as they offer promotions, and if I do, I'll definitely update here for other people who are in my situation and struggle to cook for various reasons. 

Honestly at the price, I think I've talked myself into ordering Nutrisystem again. It's only a bit more for 20 days of Nutrisystem than for 8 lunches with Factor, and I do really like some of the meals. And maybe doing no-brain for a while will help. I know I'll still need to add quite a bit of food to make up to my 1800ish daily calories on workout days, but I'll figure it out at that price. Guess I can enjoy more protein Creamis!

Week 114 Weigh In!

 I gotta say, one of the "perks" to being sodium sensitive is that even though I tend to gain a LOT when eating salty foods, it does come right back off. That helps make it feel easier to indulge occasionally because I know it doesn't cost long term and life is supposed to be about balance. Realistically I could use some good stuff in the balance lately. Food isn't supposed to be that, but for a little while? I'm okay with that.

I think it was finally time for that dose increase, too. Last week before the boost, I was just ravenous. I don't know if being out of my good eating habits for so long contributed, but it really is very difficult to stay disciplined when you are hungry all the time. While Ozempic is more than just an appetite suppressant, it definitely does help that it tones down the food noise enough to create space to make healthier choices. I still had hunger pangs this past week, but they weren't insistently loud to the point where they drowned out everything else, like they were the week before. Now? It was just a normal signal that it was time to eat a normal sized portion. I still find I do better eating smaller servings more often, so I'm trying to work with that.

One lesson I learned; taking 3 weeks off the gym really costs you! I didn't think it would be that bad! But man I was exhausted on my first workout back. I only made it twice last week, but I was still recovering from being sick, and also found it THAT taxing. I guess it does make sense to assume I wouldn't be able to go back full throttle immediately but only twice is a little disappointing. I am hoping to go 4-5 times this week and then get back to normal. Now that I've paid for a year upfront (to get two free months!) I definitely need to make sure that I make use of the membership!

I also bought myself a new toy- a Ninja Creami! I figured it would be something to distract me from my grief and it has been a little fun, if nothing else. I'll make a post this week and share some of the healthy and surprisingly delicious recipes that I've tried lately!

Still a long way to go... and now I'm feeling the pressure because of my wager. I'm not actually sure if my body can drop weight quickly enough to win anymore. I gave myself so much time when I made the bet, but I wasn't expecting to lose two family members in the same year. So I'm going to do the best I can and realistically, that's all I can do. I don't plan to do any crazy crash diets, or fasts, or anything like that. I'll stay in my calories and work out and hopefully my body will cooperate. I know that next week I'm not going to post another big loss like this because that was all sodium retention loss, but I will just keep putting one foot in front of the other and see what happens. Maybe this year I will finally reach my intended goal weight, and see how that works out for me.

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Year 2 loss: 19.8 lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!)

OZ Weeks 105- 112: on hiatus due to grief

OZ Week 113 gain: 18 lbs raised dose to 1 mg

OZ Week 114 loss: 9.2 lbs

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 78.4 lbs

Week 113 Weigh In!

 Well, readers (not sure who is still reading, but I need to write for me), it's been a rough few months. Funny how losing two of the most important people in your life can derail just about everything else. I gained a few pounds back, and fighting to regain at least enough of my balance to keep going. I do not want to regain all this weight again. It's embarrassing to have gained so much back in such a short time, but I am hopeful that I'll be able to put on the brakes and get back on track.

Honestly, with all the exhaustion around grief, I'm finding myself missing the convenience of Nutrisystem. I love Factor but it's a little pricey. Nutrisystem is cheaper but since we can't get the frozen food here in Canada without shenanigans, it really does need to be doctored up a bit to be good eats, and at that point I may as well just cook for myself. I'm looking for food that is quick and easy while I try to heal from all the pain I am in.

This was not how I envisioned my weight loss journey. I would have expected to be at goal or close to it by now, working on maintenance. Now I've wiped out my entire second year worth of work. My doctor has reminded me to be kind to myself. I've suffered a lot of trauma in 2024 and struggling to survive is taking a lot of my energy.

That being said, I did prepay for a year's membership at F45, so I plan to get my money's worth. I haven't been yet this year because I am sick and I don't want to be That Person making everyone else sick too. I'm hoping I'll feel well enough to go tomorrow because it's one of my favourite workouts on the schedule. And I'm back to calorie counting on the Lose It app so that I can kick my butt in gear.

I also did finally raise my dose of Ozempic to 1mg. Finally at the therapeutic dose after more than 2 years. I hope it will give my body enough of a kick to start the scale dropping again. I did notice a big change in my hunger levels the day after the new dose, so that's a positive sign. I overate quite a bit during the holidays (although less than I usually would) and noticed I was hungry quite a bit more often than I really needed to be. I would like not to have to fight my body in addition to the emotional eating because now I have a long, long way to go again.

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Year 2 loss: 19.8 lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!)

OZ Weeks 105- 112: on hiatus due to grief

OZ Week 113: gain 18 lbs raised dose to 1 mg

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 69.2 lbs