Week 114 Weigh In!

 I gotta say, one of the "perks" to being sodium sensitive is that even though I tend to gain a LOT when eating salty foods, it does come right back off. That helps make it feel easier to indulge occasionally because I know it doesn't cost long term and life is supposed to be about balance. Realistically I could use some good stuff in the balance lately. Food isn't supposed to be that, but for a little while? I'm okay with that.

I think it was finally time for that dose increase, too. Last week before the boost, I was just ravenous. I don't know if being out of my good eating habits for so long contributed, but it really is very difficult to stay disciplined when you are hungry all the time. While Ozempic is more than just an appetite suppressant, it definitely does help that it tones down the food noise enough to create space to make healthier choices. I still had hunger pangs this past week, but they weren't insistently loud to the point where they drowned out everything else, like they were the week before. Now? It was just a normal signal that it was time to eat a normal sized portion. I still find I do better eating smaller servings more often, so I'm trying to work with that.

One lesson I learned; taking 3 weeks off the gym really costs you! I didn't think it would be that bad! But man I was exhausted on my first workout back. I only made it twice last week, but I was still recovering from being sick, and also found it THAT taxing. I guess it does make sense to assume I wouldn't be able to go back full throttle immediately but only twice is a little disappointing. I am hoping to go 4-5 times this week and then get back to normal. Now that I've paid for a year upfront (to get two free months!) I definitely need to make sure that I make use of the membership!

I also bought myself a new toy- a Ninja Creami! I figured it would be something to distract me from my grief and it has been a little fun, if nothing else. I'll make a post this week and share some of the healthy and surprisingly delicious recipes that I've tried lately!

Still a long way to go... and now I'm feeling the pressure because of my wager. I'm not actually sure if my body can drop weight quickly enough to win anymore. I gave myself so much time when I made the bet, but I wasn't expecting to lose two family members in the same year. So I'm going to do the best I can and realistically, that's all I can do. I don't plan to do any crazy crash diets, or fasts, or anything like that. I'll stay in my calories and work out and hopefully my body will cooperate. I know that next week I'm not going to post another big loss like this because that was all sodium retention loss, but I will just keep putting one foot in front of the other and see what happens. Maybe this year I will finally reach my intended goal weight, and see how that works out for me.

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Year 2 loss: 19.8 lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!)

OZ Weeks 105- 112: on hiatus due to grief

OZ Week 113 gain: 18 lbs raised dose to 1 mg

OZ Week 114 loss: 9.2 lbs

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 78.4 lbs

Two Year Weigh In

 

This has been, by far, the worst year of my life. The fact that I'm still standing and still managed to lose weight is not inspirational. This is not a motivational post. It's simply been about survival.

That being said, I've still come a long way, and I'm proud that I'm doing my best, even if my best can fluctuate from day to day. Here is a before pic, and a current one.

Yup, you can see that loose skin hanging on my arms. It's also on my belly and thighs, and yes that's with strength training and collagen and whatever else they recommend. Do I love it? No. Am I much happier to have loose skin than taut skin filled with fat? Heck yes- not even a question. It's always possible it will tighten a bit over time and with continued weightlifting, but it's not my priority.

Was this the kind of weight loss I wanted to see this year? In isolation, no- of course not! I was hoping to be at my goal weight by now. Given the year I've had? I think it's bloody amazing that I lost any weight at all and didn't put myself back on the track to regaining.

In May, I lost my life partner suddenly and unexpectedly, and I have a parent in palliative care and I'm expecting a phone call any day now. I still have my child to care for, and trying to take care of myself too when I'm deeply grieving has been beyond difficult. Weight loss at this point has become one of the least important things in my life. 

I have tried to solve as much as I can. I don't have the emotional or physical energy to cook or plan meals, so I've been ordering meals from Factor so that I have something reasonably healthy I can grab from the fridge without having to meal plan/grocery shop/mise en place/cook/clean and then still have to want to eat at the end of it. I'm 100% sure that having food I could just grab that isn't fast food/horribly unhealthy frozen food is one of the main reasons I haven't gained back a lot of my weight.

Secondly, I'm looking at F45 as a coping mechanism at this point. Going to the gym lets me forget, for that 45ish minutes a day, all the pain and sadness in my life and instead I get to focus in the very purest sense, simply on breathing. Seriously, because apparently my body actually does forget to breathe when I'm weightlifting and I need to be reminded!

My body still hasn't made a full recovery from all the damage that grief has inflicted. As I've said in previous posts, I found it shocking what kind of physical impact grief and stress hormones actually have on the body; while you read about it, it's kind of hard to believe and accept that it's not purely psychological. When my partner died, I immediately lost so much physical strength that I had to drop the weights I was lifting to about half of what they were before. It's been nearly six months now, and I was just starting to get back to that level again when my parent went downhill much more rapidly than expected and while the hit wasn't as bad as before since this was at least on my radar, it has set back my progress. Instead of using the weight I'm lifting as my progress monitor though, I'm instead just making sure I show up. 

Regardless of how my body is responding to stress, which is not something that's in my control- neither are the stress hormones that affect the scale- I can control the choice to go to the gym or not. And whether or not I can lift heavy, whether or not I get endorphins (I usually don't anymore, which I think is the grief and depression), I still get that short window of reprieve where all I have to focus on is that next 30 or 45 or 60 second set, and just breathing. 

That being said, I have hit a couple of milestones at F45 that I'm proud of. Just yesterday, I was doing a set that incorporated pushups, and the trainer said to me that the progress I've made since I started is incredible. She said it's too bad I don't have a video of me doing a pushup when I started to compare it to now. Before, I was doing pushups on my knees and still struggling. Now, I can do pushups on my feet. They're not perfect, and when I get tired I still do drop to my knees, but my form is much better and most of the time I can finish the station on my feet. Secondly, I did my first chin up just yesterday! Granted, I was using resistance bands for additional support, but I managed to get my chin over the damn bar, and that's a heck of a lot more than I could do when I first started. It's a pretty awesome improvement, and I'm going to keep working at it.

I have abs! I find that kind of crazy, since with as much body fat as I still have, I'd figure they'd be covered up. Also, I still have a pretty weak core and struggle with quite a few movements. But looking at myself in workout gear leaves no ability to deny there has been a change in my body, even with my dysmorphia.

In other nonscale victories, I'm down a few more clothing sizes. I'm not quite to the very bottom of my smallest clothes yet, but I'm getting there. I'm wearing jeans from the late 90s/early 2000s and my main lament is that the pockets definitely are NOT designed for smartphones! That being said, I like the fit better than a lot of jeans I've seen out there, so I'm going to keep these as long as they're still fitting. Love my Gap 1969s! 

My diabetes is in remission; my last A1C was 4.9 which isn't even at risk; it's a normal, healthy A1C. My blood pressure is down. My cholesterol is down. All the markers my doctor was monitoring are becoming healthier. BMI is still obese at 31.9, which I find kind of crazy, but there it is. I am not sure I'll even get down to their healthy range, especially with the weightlifting, but we'll see how it goes. I would like to at least be into the "overweight" category rather than "obese".

The only part where I'm even really paying attention to the scale is so that I don't lose my HealthyWager. I won my first wager last year, and placed a second one because I knew I was going to be able to keep up my healthier habits this time. That being said, I had no idea this year was going to bring so much trauma, and I'm beyond grateful that I kept my goal fairly conservative. I still have concerns about reaching it in time given that I can't control the damage that stress hormones are doing and will continue to do to my body. I still have 16lbs to lose by the end of April 2025, and the holidays are looming. I guess we'll see how it goes. I'm already struggling with the idea of the holidays missing two pillars of my life, and I don't think that further restriction will be mentally healthy for me. That being said, I don't want to eat myself into a food coma, either. That's how I got to where I was in the first place, and I'm never going back to that. So, I'm back to taking things one day at a time and doing the best that I can. Baby steps can take you a long way- as you can see from those photos above! 

I'm still taking a dose of 0.85mg, and I haven't felt the need to increase it. I have gotten food noise on bad grief days, but I don't think that's abnormal. I didn't realize I've only increased by 0.10mg this year though. At some point I will raise to 1mg- possibly after the New Year so I can really buckle down to win my wager. My side effects are very minor at this point. I occasionally have a small bout of nausea, but sucking on sugarfree mints always takes care of it. Occasional minor constipation. My main side effects were headaches and nausea, and both are fairly rare now. I never vomited or had sulphur burps or anything like that, partly which I think has been due to my very slow progression with dose increase. I'm glad that I chose to increase more slowly, as it's been this far and I haven't even reached the therapeutic dose yet, which hopefully will give me a boost when I need it.

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Year 2 loss: 19.8 lbs

OZ Week 53 gain: 1.4 lbs continuing dose at 0.75mg

OZ Week 55 gain: 1.6 lbs

OZ Week 56 loss: 0.6 lbs

OZ Week 57 loss: 2.0 lbs

OZ Week 58 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 61 gain: 5.4 lbs

OZ Week 62 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 63 loss: 3.0 lbs

OZ Week 64 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 65 loss: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 66 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 67 loss: 0 lbs

OZ Week 68 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 69 gain: 0.2 lbs

OZ Week 70 gain: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 71 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 72 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 73 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 74 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 75 loss: 0.8 lb

OS Week 76 gain: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 77 loss: 5.0 lbs

OZ Week 78 gain: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 79 loss: 4.0 lbs

OZ Week 80-87: on hiatus due to grief

OZ Week 88 gain: 9.4 lbs

OZ Week 89 loss: 0.4 lbs raised dose to 0.85mg

OZ Week 90 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 91 loss: 5.2 lbs

OZ Week 92 gain: 0.6 lbs

OZ Week 93: no weigh in

OZ Week 94: gain: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 95 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 96 loss: 0.2 lb

OZ Week 97 loss: 3 lbs

OZ Week 98 loss: 1.8 lbs
OZ Week 99 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 100 gain: 1.8 lbs
OZ Week 101: no weigh in
OZ Week 102 loss: 0.6 lbs

OZ Week 103: no weigh in

OZ Week 104 gain: 1.6 lbs

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 87.2 lbs

Total loss since I started trying to lose weight: 114.2 lbs

Week 100 Weigh In

 Well, this week my diet was definitely not on point. As a matter of fact it was the saltiest week I've had in ages, and definitely not ideal in terms of total calories, either. Honestly though, I don't feel bad about it. This week felt like part of normal life. I didn't binge or overeat; just ate sensible portions of what was on offer, and I enjoyed every bite of the food. I'm sure some of this gain is water retention and I'll do my best to flush it away, and some of it is legitimate and I'll do my best to work it off.

It's interesting though; before I started working out, even one day being derailed would cause a weight fluctuation for me. This time? I had four days of really salty food plus some higher calorie days and only a minor fluctuation. I really believe that all the working out I'm doing is kickstarting my metabolism back into shape so it can function more like a normal person's, and that would be great.

This week is Thanksgiving, but other than that, time to get back on track. One day at a time!

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Week 53 gain: 1.4 lbs continuing dose at 0.75mg

OZ Week 55 gain: 1.6 lbs

OZ Week 56 loss: 0.6 lbs

OZ Week 57 loss: 2.0 lbs

OZ Week 58 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 61 gain: 5.4 lbs

OZ Week 62 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 63 loss: 3.0 lbs

OZ Week 64 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 65 loss: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 66 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 67 loss: 0 lbs

OZ Week 68 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 69 gain: 0.2 lbs

OZ Week 70 gain: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 71 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 72 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 73 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 74 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 75 loss: 0.8 lb

OS Week 76 gain: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 77 loss: 5.0 lbs

OZ Week 78 gain: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 79 loss: 4.0 lbs

OZ Week 80-87: on hiatus due to grief

OZ Week 88 gain: 9.4 lbs

OZ Week 89 loss: 0.4 lbs raised dose to 0.85mg

OZ Week 90 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 91 loss: 5.2 lbs

OZ Week 92 gain: 0.6 lbs

OZ Week 93: no weigh in

OZ Week 94: gain: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 95 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 96 loss: 0.2 lb

OZ Week 97 loss: 3 lbs

OZ Week 98 loss: 1.8 lbs
OZ Week 99 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 100 gain: 1.8 lbs

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 88.2 lbs

Week 90 Weigh In

So I forgot to write last week that I had planned to increase my dose just slightly, to 0.85mg. I didn't want to make the jump to 1mg for multiple reasons. First of all, a jump always runs the risk of unpleasant side effects. I've worked my way up slowly every time I increased my dose, and I think it's for the best because I tend to have minimal side effects. Secondly, I know that because my A1C is under control (yay!) that I won't get a prescription increase over 1mg so I want to save that last jump for when I'm much closer to goal and need the boost.

I did find that I have experienced some side effects this week but whether it's from the dose increase or just general distress from grief, I'm not sure. I've been generally not feeling well since the death in my family, and I find that when I'm under stress, the range of food that I can eat narrows dramatically. Everything tastes "spicy" to me and then I can't stomach it unless it's very bland, and since most bland food winds up being simple carbs, it's not ideal for the macros I generally aim for with at least 100g of protein daily. I don't eat low carb, but I do eat low glycemic carb, so I try to stay away from things like crackers, white bread, and potatoes- which are exactly the kinds of things my stomach wants when I'm stressed. The nausea and bloat/discomfort I'm feeling might be typical Ozempic effects but they're also typical grief and stress effects, too. Either way, it doesn't matter. I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. All I can really handle in life right now is one day at a time, so this is just yet another reminder to do that.

Overall, I think I've done fairly well with my eating habits and I did make it to the gym 6 days last week for the trials sessions, and there are more this week as well. I'm hoping to go 5 days this week but we'll see how it goes. I didn't score very well in the trials but that's OK. I don't have high expectations of myself right now. Just showing up and being present for them is enough to be proud of.

And the weight is starting to drop off again, at least a little bit. I guess it'll be a while to get back to where I was before, but there isn't much I can do about that. I can't give up because I still have my HealthyWager on the line and I really need to win that $1341 USD! 

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Week 53 gain: 1.4 lbs continuing dose at 0.75mg

OZ Week 55 gain: 1.6 lbs

OZ Week 56 loss: 0.6 lbs

OZ Week 57 loss: 2.0 lbs

OZ Week 58 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 61 gain: 5.4 lbs

OZ Week 62 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 63 loss: 3.0 lbs

OZ Week 64 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 65 loss: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 66 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 67 loss: 0 lbs

OZ Week 68 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 69 gain: 0.2 lbs

OZ Week 70 gain: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 71 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 72 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 73 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 74 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 75 loss: 0.8 lb

OS Week 76 gain: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 77 loss: 5.0 lbs

OZ Week 78 gain: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 79 loss: 4.0 lbs

OZ Week 80-87: on hiatus due to grief

OZ Week 88 gain: 9.4 lbs

OZ Week 89 loss: 0.4 lbs raised dose to 0.85mg

OZ Week 90 loss: 1.8 lbs

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 79.8 lbs

Week 89 Weigh In

 Well, this was a little disappointing. I had thought that doing my best to get back on track and going to the gym would make more of a difference than that. That being said though, I did get my period last week and it was a rough one, so hormones might be making a difference.

Grief really does mess up your body. I'm starting to wonder if it's thrown me into perimenopause, because I'm starting to have night sweats now and that's not something I've experienced before. I know that weight loss gets much more difficult in menopause and I'm a little concerned that now my body will be fighting to hold onto this fat just as hard as I want to fight to get rid of it. I guess time will tell.

I had bloodwork done, and while my HDL cholesterol is a bit low, my A1C is still holding steady at 4.9 so I guess my recent poor dietary choices aren't having as big of an effect as I thought they would be. Thank you, Ozempic! 

It really has been a rough year so far. I'm past the halfway point for this year and I'm only down ten pounds, which is disappointing. But down is still better than up, and I'm starting to try and click back into my routine of going to the gym more often because I've definitely gained fat around my waist. The smallest pair of jeans I was wearing before my family member died is now too tight to pull up over my hips, and that is definitely a warning sign that I need to put on the brakes, grief or not. I've also noticed that my stomach muscles are less defined because the fat I gained went straight to my stomach. Since I had just gotten rid of a pile of clothes that had gotten too big, I don't have much in any larger sizes and I'm sure not buying new clothes to replace what I just got rid of! So it's time to get back on track in terms of my food intake and exercise.

This week and next week are trials weeks at F45, where they want you to count your reps during sets so that you can compare the results next time there are trials. I know I'm underperforming right now but at least it will be good next time that I should be able to see improvement. Because of trials week though, it means I have to get my butt to the gym! I'm booked in for six classes this week and five next week, so hopefully it will get me back into a healthier routine and I can start whittling away at my waistline again.

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Week 53 gain: 1.4 lbs continuing dose at 0.75mg

OZ Week 55 gain: 1.6 lbs

OZ Week 56 loss: 0.6 lbs

OZ Week 57 loss: 2.0 lbs

OZ Week 58 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 61 gain: 5.4 lbs

OZ Week 62 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 63 loss: 3.0 lbs

OZ Week 64 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 65 loss: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 66 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 67 loss: 0 lbs

OZ Week 68 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 69 gain: 0.2 lbs

OZ Week 70 gain: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 71 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 72 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 73 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 74 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 75 loss: 0.8 lb

OS Week 76 gain: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 77 loss: 5.0 lbs

OZ Week 78 gain: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 79 loss: 4.0 lbs

OZ Week 80-87: on hiatus

OZ Week 88 gain: 9.4 lbs

OZ Week 89 loss: 0.4 lbs raised dose to 0.85mg

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 78 lbs

Week 77 Weigh In!

Well, like I said, that gain last week was all sodium retention from my delicious, delicious fish and chips! Last week was only a small gain and look at how it balanced out- still an almost 2lb per week loss on net. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having an occasional indulgence as long as you get right back on track afterwards, which I did. And now I feel like I am satiated for fried food for a while, I enjoyed every bite I ate, and honestly I'm still enjoying what I'm eating in my calorie deficit too.

I think with the price of gold being what it is, I'd rather have 4 gold bars- as long as I could still lose the weight myself afterwards! If the tradeoff is 4 gold bars or staying at my starting weight? I don't know... that's three million dollars! That might take some thought! But if it just meant starting my journey over again? I think for three million dollars I could do it one more time! But honestly I never want to go through this again! 

Five pounds in a single week- in any week even at the very beginning of a weight loss program- is something impressive. At this stage in my weight loss journey, it's pretty insane. It also feels more promising in terms of maintenance- that maybe my metabolism is starting to heal and be closer to what a person who has never been obese would have. I know that they have done lots of studies showing that people who were obese and lost the weight still burn fewer calories than a person of similar age, height, and weight. I am hoping that I am increasing my BMR with all this additional muscle tissue so that I won't regain as easily.

I've also noticed a change in how my hunger feels, but it's difficult to explain the difference. It's lost some of the urgency I used to feel, if that makes sense. Now it really does feel like, OK, we've been active, now we need some fuel, as opposed to either eating by rote or else eating until I was stuffed (not until I was satisfied). It feels healthy! More like how hunger cues should be.

Again I've been seeing people writing about how they wish they weren't hungry and miss the days where they had no hunger cues at all, and I remember feeling that way early in my Ozempic journey but one of my friends hit me with a ClueBy4 and reminded me that it was disordered to think that way. Hunger is normal, and it's something we deal with every single day, and it exists for a reason- to ensure we nourish our bodies. Wishing hunger away means we're more likely to eat too little in the desire to lose weight, and it also means on the days when hunger finally hits that we're going to go way overboard. That's not a great pattern and that definitely hurts your metabolism to starve starve starve binge. We have to find the balance that works for us. 

In the meantime? I'm genuinely starting to find that the gym is becoming a stress release for me. Most days, I feel good when I'm leaving and I recover more quickly than I did before. Less of feeling like I'm dead when I walk home, and more feeling like I pushed myself but that I'm capable of pushing myself like that. It's a really good feeling! I'm really glad I didn't give up when it was hard and that I kept working at it, because this is important to me now. Exercise is becoming part of my self care.

Onwards and downwards!

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Week 53 gain: 1.4 lbs continuing dose at 0.75mg

OZ Week 55 gain: 1.6 lbs

OZ Week 56 loss: 0.6 lbs

OZ Week 57 loss: 2.0 lbs

OZ Week 58 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 61 gain: 5.4 lbs

OZ Week 62 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 63 loss: 3.0 lbs

OZ Week 64 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 65 loss: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 66 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 67 loss: 0 lbs

OZ Week 68 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 69 gain: 0.2 lbs

OZ Week 70 gain: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 71 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 72 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 73 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 74 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 75 loss: 0.8 lb

OS Week 76 gain: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 77 loss: 5 lbs

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 83.4 lbs

45 Strong Challenge: Day 45

 Wow. I can't believe I just wrote that. Today is the last day in the F45 challenge! It's not over yet, but it will be soon- I'm booked in for the lunchtime class today, which is cardio hell. But I'm going to go and I'm going to do it and put my last star on the wall at the gym and my last red X on the digital chart when I tag the gym on Instagram.

I did:

• 55 minutes of walking and 40 minutes at F45 for a total of 95 active minutes. Today was the awful Triple Double cardio set of, do three sets at each of these crazy stations and then when you think you're done- go do it again!!!
• drank 3 litres of water
• did my dental care
• 15 minutes of Spanish on Duolingo.

Honestly... I can't believe I was actually able to finish this challenge. I didn't think that my fitness level would be able to handle it. And not only did I handle it, but I did it very well! I did the F45 classes 6 days a week with one day being my active recovery day where I did a 60 min walk. I am tired and feeling a bit burnt out, but I survived, and I believe my health and fitness have definitely improved. Over the last 45 days I have definitely built more visible muscle tone, the scale started moving again in a way that emphasized my body is enjoying these good choices, and while I didn't take measurements, yesterday I was able to put on an old pair of jeans in a size 12! They were tight, and because they're old they're the ultra low rise style which happens to hit me right where my loose skin is hanging, but I could zip them up and button them without bursting out! Not sure I want to wear that style of jeans anymore but it was awesome to be able to fit into them at least.

Not to mention how I've been able to increase the weight on the strength training I've been doing. I have to keep reminding myself that it's supposed to be hard. If I don't pick up a weight and feel like it's heavy, then maybe it's not heavy enough. Challenging myself is the best way to build strength and get to a point where they don't feel as heavy anymore, after all, and the trainers are there if I am trying to go up a level to help spot me so I'm doing it safely. I can't believe that I've been doing F45 classes for 6 months and I've increased my dumbbell weight (for things like presses and the like) from 3kg to 15kg! That's incredible improvement! I am hoping that if I continue to exercise like this, it will help a little with the loose skin and if nothing else, will fill it with some muscle.

I had no idea that you could have visible abs showing with this much body fat left to lose. The articles I've read online say you need to be about 20-25% body fat to have any abs showing but I think I'm still above that. Either way though- look at me go!!!

I just read an article in Women's Health the other day that said that building muscle now, before you go into menopause, has so many bonuses for health. It's commonly known that when reaching menopause that muscle tone starts to decline and so does metabolism, which is why it's normal to start gaining weight even if your diet and exercise remain the same. And at that point, once you start losing muscle tone, it becomes much harder due to hormonal changes for your body to rebuild it. There is some research saying if you build the muscle while in perimenopause or earlier and work to maintain it that menopause is less like being hit by a freight train and more of a gradual change- muscle tissue is even correlated with a reduction in hot flashes and other menopause symptoms. So I am hopeful if I keep up my new habits that maybe my midlife will be a little easier.

So I don't think I'm going to let my membership lapse now that the challenge is over, although honestly maybe not 6 days a week! But I plan on going tomorrow anyway even though the challenge is over because it's a weights day, and I want to keep working on my upper body. It feels really good to be pressing those big heavy dumbbells!

But WOW... go me. Seriously. I did it. And I'm really proud of myself for never giving up, even when I was (am) tired. Like I said at the beginning... I didn't have to hit any targets for anything. Didn't have to lose weight or gain a specific amount of muscle or lose inches. All I had to do was show up for myself, and I did. I'm worth it!

45 Strong Challenge: Day 44

 I'm so disappointed that my favourite trainer is off for the summer. I hope she chooses to come back in the fall- and I'll have to make some improvements over time so that I have progress to show her! I will miss her, though. She's the one who always pushes you that little bit farther and most of the time you think you can't do it but then again most of the time you do it because you're told to and then realize you can! The other trainers don't push quite the same way and I'll miss that. Elo, if you're reading this, you are awesome and I wish you all the best this summer... but I hope you come back!!!

The burnout is getting real though, especially with my broken sleep. Normally I love Tuesdays but today I'm dreading the energy expenditure a little bit. That being said, I planned to have a relatively easy day other than the gym so I will manage and I'll get through it. I think I'll be cutting down a bit from 6 days a week though once this is over!

I did:

• 51 minutes of walking and 40 minutes at F45 for a total of 91 active minutes. Today was the split workout of half cardio half resistance training.
• drank 3 litres of water
• did my dental care
• 16 minutes of Spanish on Duolingo.

Week 75 Weigh In & 45 Strong Challenge: Day 43

So, I'm a wee bit disappointed in the result this week because I saw quite a bit lower on Thursday when I happened to step on the scale, but hey, that's how bodies are! Fluctuation definitely is a thing. That being said, I can't really complain because I'm down over 8.6lbs in the last month! That's fantastic- it's back to the loss rate I was experiencing much earlier in my weight loss journey. So no complaints, even if I am a bit wistful.

It really seems that the muscle I've added has been giving my metabolism a boost, which is burning fat again! I wish I had done a body composition analysis when I first started F45 so I could compare it to the end of this challenge, but the visuals are pretty darn good so I'll chalk that up as a win.

My trainer keeps reminding me it's not all about the scale, and she's right. I've been moving up to heavier weights and that's definitely more exciting than the number on the scale. On Thursday I hit those new milestones and I'm so proud of myself and all my hard work.

I was really tired by the time the 5:30 class rolled around and honestly without the challenge I wouldn't have gone. But I'm not giving up so close to the finish line! I went and I survived! And I learned that I can tough through things when I need to... but I admit I am looking forward to a little rest soon.

I did:

• 59 minutes of walking and 39 minutes at F45 for a total of 98 active minutes. Today was the split workout of half cardio half resistance training.
• drank 3 litres of water
• did my dental care
• 15 minutes of Spanish on Duolingo.

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Week 53 gain: 1.4 lbs continuing dose at 0.75mg

OZ Week 55 gain: 1.6 lbs

OZ Week 56 loss: 0.6 lbs

OZ Week 57 loss: 2.0 lbs

OZ Week 58 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 61 gain: 5.4 lbs

OZ Week 62 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 63 loss: 3.0 lbs

OZ Week 64 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 65 loss: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 66 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 67 loss: 0 lbs

OZ Week 68 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 69 gain: 0.2 lbs

OZ Week 70 gain: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 71 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 72 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 73 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 74 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 75 loss: 0.8 lb

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 79.8 lbs

45 Strong Challenge: Day 42

 I did NOT like it when my alarm went off this morning! But if I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep, then I'd have to go for a long walk today anyway so may as well get up and make breakfast and get ready to go to F45. I generally like the Sunday class because it's weights, although I didn't love the new format last week with cycling bodyweight exercises in between reps of the weights. At least last Sunday it was the same bodyweight exercise each time rather than being one that was similarly tied to the station you were doing. But it's something different and I guess they need to keep each phase fresh!

Man it was hard getting up in time though! Since it's weights day, that means high protein breakfast so I planned my usual "quick" one of eggs on toast with cheese. But then by the time I dished up my breakfast, it was 7 minutes before I'm supposed to leave! I didn't think I had dawdled that much but ugh. Hopefully the walk to the gym helps me digest before the class!

It was a tough one, too! We did the same bodyweight exercises again this week as we did last week but the regular workout changed. The big issue is also that it's 30 seconds with the weights and then 20 seconds of the bodyweight exercise but no break in between so you might lose time putting down your weight or getting off of or down to the floor. But it was busy, that's for sure!

I did:

• 70 minutes of walking and 42 minutes at F45 for a total of 102 active minutes. Today was not fun cardio!
• drank 3 litres of water
• did my dental care
• 17 minutes of Spanish on Duolingo.

45 Strong Challenge: Day 41

 Really feeling a bit worn out today! I'm glad it was active recovery because I need it.

I did:

• 64 minutes of walking.
• drank 3 litres of water
• did my dental care
• 15 minutes of Spanish on Duolingo. 

45 Strong Challenge: Day 40

 It's still somewhat amazing to me to see the numbers keep clicking over. And I'm still in it! Yesterday I got a pretty darn good dose of motivation, too. Although today I didn't get enough sleep so I'm already dreading the day- plus I have to go to the 5:30pm gym class so that really runs me out. But some days that's how my work schedule goes! 

I do think once the challenge is over I might cut back on the evening class days since I'm definitely not a fan, but we'll see how it goes. I mean, the way I am looking at it right now is that I'm paying $6 a day whether I go or not, so it encourages me to go at least. But maybe not six days a week once the challenge is over! Or maybe still six days a week but take the one day completely off and no hour walk? I'll see how I feel.

Today's workout was challenging- a good mix of cardio and strength training. Walking there in the rain wasn't a whole lot of fun but I went!

I did:

• 56 minutes of walking and 41 minutes at F45 for a total of 97 active minutes. Today was not fun cardio!
• drank 3 litres of water
• did my dental care
• 16 minutes of Spanish on Duolingo. 

45 Strong Challenge: Day 39

 Ok, wow, y'all- I hit two new milestones at the gym today and I am so excited! Today's workout was weights, and Thursday is the day when they tend to push for lifting fewer reps with heavier weights. Today I managed to do two sets of pushups on my feet instead of on my knees! They weren't great pushups and I didn't get all the way down, but I was trying my best and I managed at least a little bit.

And the big one is that I managed to go up to 15kg dumbbells for the chest presses today! I've been working hard to try and up weights on chest presses and I've been doing the 12.5kg for a while now. Last time I tried to see if I could do the 15kg I couldn't even lift them into place but today I could do it! I am riding a pretty good adrenaline high right now. Super proud of myself for my hard work and it's amazing to see results like this!

I'm really glad I gave the F45 a try even though it's expensive. It's been interesting watching my body change. I don't think I've ever had this much muscle tissue in my life. Not only is my body healthier but this much muscle is likely going to make it easier to maintain my weight when I stop trying to lose. I think the choices I'm making this time around are much healthier for myself.

I did:

• 53 minutes of walking and 44 minutes at F45 for a total of 97 active minutes. Today was not fun cardio!
• drank 3 litres of water
• did my dental care
• 15 minutes of Spanish on Duolingo. 

45 Strong Challenge: Day 38

 I can see the finish line! One more week and this challenge will be over!!!

I am not a big fan of the Wednesday workout this phase, but it is what it is. Triple Double means you do three sets at each cardio station and then when you're so exhausted you want to collapse, they tell you to do it all over again. But, I sure worked up a sweat last time!

The gym owner told me that my perception is correct- Phase 4 is indeed tougher than the previous phases. But she told me that this is the last phase for whatever focus this is (she couldn't remember what it was called off the top of her head) and then next month will be a new Phase 1 with a different focus. That works for me! 

I did:

• 51 minutes of walking and 40 minutes at F45 for a total of 91 active minutes. Today was not fun cardio!
• drank 3 litres of water
• did my dental care
• 15 minutes of Spanish on Duolingo. 

45 Strong Challenge: Day 37

 So I've been noticing that I have burned out a little bit on lunches especially... if I manage to squeeze in the noon gym class, the last thing I want to do afterwards is figure out what to eat! Since we're in the homestretch of the 45 Strong Challenge and I don't want to derail myself, I ordered a box of Factor meals to use for lunches for the rest of the challenge. They are pricey at full price, but if you get a referral from someone using the service then you get a pretty good discount and they are actually pretty good, as well as being healthy! They have higher protein and keto options, so they're great for a post workout meal.

Since I'm getting to the struggle-y bit of continuing to go to the gym and finish the challenge, I wanted to make it as easy as possible to stick to my plan. If having healthy premade meals will do it, I'm there. 

I started eating before I took a picture, but today's lunch was turkey ragu with zoodles and herbed ricotta. It was really filling and pretty tasty! I don't tend to follow low carb but I did order a few keto meals for my weights days since that's where I want to really boost protein so I can build more muscle.

I did:

• 55 minutes of walking and 39 minutes at F45 for a total of 94 active minutes. Today was the Tokyo Disco workout again- two pods of weights, one upper body one lower and you do both.
• drank 3 litres of water
• did my dental care
• 17 minutes of Spanish on Duolingo. 

Week 74 Weigh In & 45 Strong Challenge Day 36!

Hard to believe the challenge is 80% complete! I'm really going to make it to the end, unless something awful happens (I hope not!).

And while I am wearing out a bit, surprisingly my body seems to be able to handle the more intense exercise, which is pretty cool! I think I might like to try and keep it up. Maybe not quite this much- I would like some actual rest days too, not just a 60 min walk. But I can wait until I finish the last 9 days!

I am also really happy that the scale has started moving again after so much time. Looks like the solution, unsurprisingly, is adding more intense exercises along with more protein and calories to grow that new muscle. It's not the answer anyone wants to hear in terms of weight loss because it's slow and definitely requires putting in the time and work. But I think that was the key for breaking the long stretch of very slow losses and holding steady. Plus, it's better to be eating more anyway. We want to be eating as much as possible and still losing so that our metabolisms don't get used to eating too little. That would mean that maintenance calories end up quite low which is hard to sustain over a lifetime. What good is it to reach goal if we start regaining the weight almost immediately? It's better to try and heal as much of the damage obesity has done to our bodies and systems so that we can eat like normal people in the future. Not go back to eating the way we were (or at least how I was) but where it's OK to indulge occasionally and eat regular food with our families. It's one of the reasons I think diet culture can be so toxic. If you view your weight loss journey as a diet, how will it stick? A diet implies an end. And a lifetime diet just sounds awful! Choosing a way to eat sustainably that you can continue on with and not feel deprived, that you can eat with family and friends, and still enjoy your food? That's something that's much more likely to keep the number on the scale down over time because it won't be as hard to stick to it.

It's good to find substitutes for things we love- in fact this whole blog is full of recipes to try and recreate lighter versions of the calorific foods we enjoy indulging in. But I don't think I'd go the rest of my life without occasionally having big steak cut french fries made deep fried and not in an air fryer! Life has got to be about balance or we'll find ourselves back here again and I don't actually think I'd live through it next time.

So, I'm currently sticking with my ~1800 ish calorie plan, continuing the exercise, and we'll see how things go! Still not increasing my dose and staying at 0.75mg again while I hope to see the scale keep moving for a while and not get stuck until I'm closer to my goal.

I did:

• 58 minutes of walking and 39 minutes at F45 for a total of 97 active minutes. Today was the Quarterbacks workout again- two pods, one weights, one cardio.
• drank 3 litres of water
• did my dental care
• 15 minutes of Spanish on Duolingo. 

Happy Eclipse day, if you're in the path! We will only get to see 99% totality here but unfortunately I'm not able to travel to get the full picture. That being said, it's looking pretty overcast so I'm not sure how much we will actually get to see anyway. Must be disappointing for the people who have spent thousands of dollars to visit places with the longest totality.

I'm kind of wondering how many people will be at the noon gym class today or if they'll be off to try and view the eclipse. Guess I'll find out! Result: slightly fewer than normal but still plenty of people came to get their sweat on!

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Week 53 gain: 1.4 lbs continuing dose at 0.75mg

OZ Week 55 gain: 1.6 lbs

OZ Week 56 loss: 0.6 lbs

OZ Week 57 loss: 2.0 lbs

OZ Week 58 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 61 gain: 5.4 lbs

OZ Week 62 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 63 loss: 3.0 lbs

OZ Week 64 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 65 loss: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 66 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 67 loss: 0 lbs

OZ Week 68 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 69 gain: 0.2 lbs

OZ Week 70 gain: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 71 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 72 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 73 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 74 loss: 1.0 lb

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 79 lbs