My most recent dose of Ozempic was on August 7, so I've skipped two doses on doctor's orders to try and recover from the parasite I picked up. Since I took antibiotics, that should help, but my body still has to expel the parasites and given slower digestion, temporarily stopping the Ozempic is intended to help get my system moving again.
Also, I'm still not back to my normal self. While many of my symptoms have resolved, I still have the massive crushing fatigue that kept me in bed for most of three weeks. My stomach is also still temperamental and mostly preferring simple and bland foods like yogurt, bananas, toast, and other white carbs like muffins or similar. I actually did decide to stop tracking at all for the moments because it really doesn't matter if I'm way carb heavy or over my calories; right now the most important thing is getting better. If simple carbs are what is helping me feel better, I'm all for that.
I woke up hungry this morning, but that's no different than most other days. I have written about my disordered thinking about hunger before that I think many of us on Ozempic share at least at the beginning- that hunger is a bad thing. It's not. Hunger is normal. Not wanting to feel hungry is the part that's disordered and unhealthy! Food really is part of the enjoyment of life, and anticipation is part of that. Not to mention, hunger is just a plain old signal from our body about what it needs.
What used to scare me was that hunger meant I would overeat, but it doesn't have to mean that. I get hungry, but can still eat my small portions and be satisfied. I just have to continue to pay attention to my body's cues and stop when no longer hungry. I still believe I have a disordered idea of what "full" means, and I wonder if this is a shared experience with others. I think that people without an eating disorder may consider "full" as "not hungry", while I used to consider that "full" meant "stuffed", which obviously isn't a good way to nourish my body. If food tasted good, I would keep eating it until I didn't have room for any more, because it continued tasting good and I'd want more and more. I'm much happier now to be able to have small portions of foods I love without eating until I'm uncomfortable. I can have a reasonable serving, and while I generally don't get the "hard stop" I used to have when I first started Oz back in November, I can still feel like I've had enough and don't need more. I have started to notice that when I get distracted and forget I'm eating for a while; either losing myself in conversation or whatever else I might be doing at the time, that is generally a pretty good sign that I am full- whether my stomach feels that way or not.
So, ten days from my last dose, I'm not noticing a huge change in my appetite. I am finding myself thinking about food a bit more, but that may be the result of needing to figure out what my stomach will be happy eating, which is again a result of the illness and not the Ozempic.
I have noticed increased bowel movements, which is great- that's what I need so that I can get this cleared out! I don't think much else has changed so far. That being said, once I get clearance, I do plan to restart my Ozempic because it's been so good for my health. I am not on this medication for weight loss alone but to control my type 2 diabetes, and it's been wonderful for that! I've had to postpone my recent bloodwork because of my illness but hoping to get that taken care of soon.
The exhaustion has been really hard, though. I know I lost some of my stamina simply from being ill and spending so long in bed, but I didn't realize how much that would impact me when added to the fatigue of illness. I tried on Monday to start getting back on track with my exercise, and I did a 30 minute Easy Start video, which is generally pretty low impact and before my illness was less intense than I was looking for in terms of exercise. Well, my heart rate just rocketed up, which isn't a great sign, and yesterday I was so exhausted that I could barely move. My fitness app told me that I'd exceeded healthy exercise and needed to rest. WOW! So I guess it will be slower working my way back than I had hoped.
It really is disappointing to see that I'm softer around the middle than I was in July, and I may have regained some inches back there. I don't know for sure because I haven't taken measurements- that was a bit too much tracking for me and I figured I'd see it in my clothes. I also miss the endorphins that I'd get from the exercise. Even if I didn't enjoy it, there were a lot of positive benefits that came from moving my body regularly. I'd been working so hard for six months and had settled into a good routine. I'm not happy to get derailed!
But that's also part of life. Things happen that make it harder for us to make healthy choices. We get tired or sick, or have stressful events happen. Coping with them is part of how we learn to make lasting changes in our lives, without letting temporary derailments become permanent ones.
So, I rested yesterday, and I'll rest again today because I have a busy day tomorrow with an event for my son and I can't risk being that fatigued for it. I might even need to rest Friday if I get exhausted Thursday. But there's always the weekend, and then I'll be right back up on that horse. Maybe it won't be a very long or intense workout, but it will be a step on the road in the right direction.
I worked hard, and I'm proud of myself for that. And I know that exercise is making me healthier and potentially lengthening my life (at least by natural causes). As I've said before, I did what I wanted for so many years and look where it got me. It's time to give my body what it needs as well.
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