Well, this is a fun one. I could have grown a baby in this time! Instead, I have lost the equivalent of about 7 of them! It's funny; weight loss generally feels slow, no matter how quick it actually is. Taking a period of time like this and seeing HOW MUCH your body really can change is kind of incredible.
I think I'm finally really starting to see the weight loss in myself. Unfortunately it means when I'm looking back at pictures of myself over the last few years, the first thing I see is how much fatter my face was, and that makes me sad. I don't want that to be an important factor in how I look back at my memories. I took pictures of moments that were special to me, things that I want to remember, and the size of my body shouldn't be important in those moments! Hopefully over time this will lessen. Body dysmorphia really isn't a lot of fun.
Believe it or not, I've still been pretty sick, and that's been awful. I feel like I've been missing out on summer since I've spent most of three weeks in bed. The exhaustion has been hard, the brain fog, and of course the digestive issues. I'm considering skipping my shot tonight since I was supposed to miss it when I was on the antibiotics but had already taken it. I'm wondering if having my digestion slowed down means that it's taking longer for the bacteria to get out of my system and that's why I'm still sick. I have a follow up with my doctor but not for another week, unfortunately.
I also still haven't been able to exercise, due to the lack of energy. I'm frustrated because I feel like I'll be starting back at zero again after missing an entire month, but there isn't much to be done about it. I'm not going to quit though and let it derail my progress. I might hate exercise, but my body loves it, and after all this time of not taking care of myself, I think it's time to do what I need instead of what I want. So if I have to start small and work my way back up, that's what I'll do, even if it sucks to lose my progress. Baby steps are better than no steps! I'm still not ready for intense exercise yet but I'm going to try and go for a walk today. Doing something partway is still ahead of doing nothing.
I just really, really hope to be feeling better soon and to have some energy back. I miss coming up with new recipes to share with you all and documenting my progress with Walk at Home.
OZ Week 3 gain: 2.0lbs
OZ Week 36 gain: 8.4lbs
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