This week has been very bizarre in terms of the scale. For that matter, the fluctuations over both the last two weeks have been odd, and I really have no idea why. I knew that I weighed in last week on the highest day of the week, so I was expecting a bigger drop this week. That being said, I was nearly an additional 3lbs lighter on Saturday morning, so that's some really extreme fluctuation to see over a single week. My weight has been up and down nearly six pounds! At least some stayed off for my Monday morning weigh in though or I'd have been really disappointed. I can't complain about a 3lb loss even if I'm wondering what happened to put the rest back on.
I do hope it's not muscle tissue leaving already. With being this sick I haven't been able to go to the gym for a full week. I miss it but I'm not only exhausted but also contagious, so going would not be a kind thing to do. For that matter, I'm still too tired to do a Walk at Home workout in my living room, so contemplating going to F45 isn't happening.
This year really has been a struggle in so many ways, and I am still losing weight and trying my best to get healthier. If it's not at the rate I would like, at least I'm still moving in the right direction. I didn't even get to make it to maintenance before life gave me one of those big kicks intended to knock me down again. And it sure has knocked me down, but I'm trying not to let it take everything from me. I don't want to regain all my weight and get sicker again before I've even had a chance to see where this path is taking me. No- not where the path is taking me- the path I'm building for myself. This work isn't passive; if I'm not actively engaging in my health, it's not going anywhere. There are so many aspects of my life now where I have little to no control. But I do have control over how I'm treating myself.
Going to the gym makes me feel like I'm actively choosing to prioritize myself. It feels like even though what I'm doing is hard, I get acknowledgement for choosing to do the hard thing. I get to see visible results for the work I'm doing (hello pectoral muscles, I didn't know you existed on me!). There aren't many places in my life where I get to see progress or results for what I'm doing. Most of the things I do are things that have to be done over and over daily or weekly- you only notice them if they aren't done. It's nice to have a place in my life where it feels like what I do matters and to have people cheering me on.
Being sick sucks. Hopefully I'll start feeling better soon so that I can book in. Phase 10 starts today and I'm interested in what they have posted so far!
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