Week 90 Weigh In

So I forgot to write last week that I had planned to increase my dose just slightly, to 0.85mg. I didn't want to make the jump to 1mg for multiple reasons. First of all, a jump always runs the risk of unpleasant side effects. I've worked my way up slowly every time I increased my dose, and I think it's for the best because I tend to have minimal side effects. Secondly, I know that because my A1C is under control (yay!) that I won't get a prescription increase over 1mg so I want to save that last jump for when I'm much closer to goal and need the boost.

I did find that I have experienced some side effects this week but whether it's from the dose increase or just general distress from grief, I'm not sure. I've been generally not feeling well since the death in my family, and I find that when I'm under stress, the range of food that I can eat narrows dramatically. Everything tastes "spicy" to me and then I can't stomach it unless it's very bland, and since most bland food winds up being simple carbs, it's not ideal for the macros I generally aim for with at least 100g of protein daily. I don't eat low carb, but I do eat low glycemic carb, so I try to stay away from things like crackers, white bread, and potatoes- which are exactly the kinds of things my stomach wants when I'm stressed. The nausea and bloat/discomfort I'm feeling might be typical Ozempic effects but they're also typical grief and stress effects, too. Either way, it doesn't matter. I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. All I can really handle in life right now is one day at a time, so this is just yet another reminder to do that.

Overall, I think I've done fairly well with my eating habits and I did make it to the gym 6 days last week for the trials sessions, and there are more this week as well. I'm hoping to go 5 days this week but we'll see how it goes. I didn't score very well in the trials but that's OK. I don't have high expectations of myself right now. Just showing up and being present for them is enough to be proud of.

And the weight is starting to drop off again, at least a little bit. I guess it'll be a while to get back to where I was before, but there isn't much I can do about that. I can't give up because I still have my HealthyWager on the line and I really need to win that $1341 USD! 

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Week 53 gain: 1.4 lbs continuing dose at 0.75mg

OZ Week 55 gain: 1.6 lbs

OZ Week 56 loss: 0.6 lbs

OZ Week 57 loss: 2.0 lbs

OZ Week 58 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 61 gain: 5.4 lbs

OZ Week 62 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 63 loss: 3.0 lbs

OZ Week 64 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 65 loss: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 66 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 67 loss: 0 lbs

OZ Week 68 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 69 gain: 0.2 lbs

OZ Week 70 gain: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 71 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 72 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 73 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 74 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 75 loss: 0.8 lb

OS Week 76 gain: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 77 loss: 5.0 lbs

OZ Week 78 gain: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 79 loss: 4.0 lbs

OZ Week 80-87: on hiatus due to grief

OZ Week 88 gain: 9.4 lbs

OZ Week 89 loss: 0.4 lbs raised dose to 0.85mg

OZ Week 90 loss: 1.8 lbs

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 79.8 lbs

Week 89 Weigh In

 Well, this was a little disappointing. I had thought that doing my best to get back on track and going to the gym would make more of a difference than that. That being said though, I did get my period last week and it was a rough one, so hormones might be making a difference.

Grief really does mess up your body. I'm starting to wonder if it's thrown me into perimenopause, because I'm starting to have night sweats now and that's not something I've experienced before. I know that weight loss gets much more difficult in menopause and I'm a little concerned that now my body will be fighting to hold onto this fat just as hard as I want to fight to get rid of it. I guess time will tell.

I had bloodwork done, and while my HDL cholesterol is a bit low, my A1C is still holding steady at 4.9 so I guess my recent poor dietary choices aren't having as big of an effect as I thought they would be. Thank you, Ozempic! 

It really has been a rough year so far. I'm past the halfway point for this year and I'm only down ten pounds, which is disappointing. But down is still better than up, and I'm starting to try and click back into my routine of going to the gym more often because I've definitely gained fat around my waist. The smallest pair of jeans I was wearing before my family member died is now too tight to pull up over my hips, and that is definitely a warning sign that I need to put on the brakes, grief or not. I've also noticed that my stomach muscles are less defined because the fat I gained went straight to my stomach. Since I had just gotten rid of a pile of clothes that had gotten too big, I don't have much in any larger sizes and I'm sure not buying new clothes to replace what I just got rid of! So it's time to get back on track in terms of my food intake and exercise.

This week and next week are trials weeks at F45, where they want you to count your reps during sets so that you can compare the results next time there are trials. I know I'm underperforming right now but at least it will be good next time that I should be able to see improvement. Because of trials week though, it means I have to get my butt to the gym! I'm booked in for six classes this week and five next week, so hopefully it will get me back into a healthier routine and I can start whittling away at my waistline again.

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Week 53 gain: 1.4 lbs continuing dose at 0.75mg

OZ Week 55 gain: 1.6 lbs

OZ Week 56 loss: 0.6 lbs

OZ Week 57 loss: 2.0 lbs

OZ Week 58 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 61 gain: 5.4 lbs

OZ Week 62 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 63 loss: 3.0 lbs

OZ Week 64 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 65 loss: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 66 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 67 loss: 0 lbs

OZ Week 68 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 69 gain: 0.2 lbs

OZ Week 70 gain: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 71 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 72 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 73 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 74 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 75 loss: 0.8 lb

OS Week 76 gain: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 77 loss: 5.0 lbs

OZ Week 78 gain: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 79 loss: 4.0 lbs

OZ Week 80-87: on hiatus

OZ Week 88 gain: 9.4 lbs

OZ Week 89 loss: 0.4 lbs raised dose to 0.85mg

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 78 lbs

Week 88 Weigh In

 Well, it's been a rough couple of months. Depression is a bitch. I've really been struggling to do much of anything, let alone plan my meals and work out. I've also learned that apparently grief has a physical effect on your body. I've lost a ton of cardio fitness, stamina, and something has obviously happened to my muscle because I can't lift even close to what I was doing before. 

That's really frustrating. I've worked SO hard to improve my health, and now I have to cope with this huge setback. But we don't get to choose what crap life throws at us or when; we just get to decide how we're going to respond to it.

I don't want to regain all this weight. I don't want to stop going to the gym. I was enjoying it (shhh!) at least a little bit. I don't like the way my body feels when I'm eating too much junk food. While I don't suffer the kinds of effects that many Ozempic patients do when they eat badly, I still get bloated and uncomfortable, and I can actually see the changes in my heart rate on my fitness app from the sodium and saturated fat.

Finding the energy to eat better (if not where I was before) and the energy to go to the gym is still tough, though. It's difficult to engage in self care during grief, which is why I was eating a lot of convenience food. I've been trying to build in those shortcuts as much as possible, so I did reorder Factor meals so that I'd have healthy lunches at a minimum (follow my link to save $80 if you'd like to try them!), and I tried to get a little bit of meal prep done so that there would be ready food in the freezer and I'd be less likely to order takeout if I was exhausted.

So, it's been a rough few weeks and I've definitely gained weight. That being said, I sure don't blame myself. I was and still am mostly in survival mode and that's okay. As long as I don't let myself backslide too far. My therapist says she doesn't think I'll let myself wallow too far even if I want to and she's probably right, but it's just so frustrating. I worked so hard to build up that muscle mass and to feel better about myself and this was really a kick in the teeth.

I can't change what has happened. But I can do my best when I wake up in the morning each day and give myself grace on the bad days. All I can do is my best, and some days are going to be worse than others. It doesn't mean that it's not still my best.

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Week 53 gain: 1.4 lbs continuing dose at 0.75mg

OZ Week 55 gain: 1.6 lbs

OZ Week 56 loss: 0.6 lbs

OZ Week 57 loss: 2.0 lbs

OZ Week 58 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 61 gain: 5.4 lbs

OZ Week 62 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 63 loss: 3.0 lbs

OZ Week 64 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 65 loss: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 66 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 67 loss: 0 lbs

OZ Week 68 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 69 gain: 0.2 lbs

OZ Week 70 gain: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 71 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 72 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 73 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 74 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 75 loss: 0.8 lb

OS Week 76 gain: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 77 loss: 5.0 lbs

OZ Week 78 gain: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 79 loss: 4.0 lbs

OZ Week 80-87: on hiatus

OZ Week 88 gain: 9.4 lbs

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 77.6 lbs