Week 91 Weigh In!

 Well, it's nice to get that bit of a boost! It still hasn't been a stellar year but honestly, I'm not too fussed. Down is still down and beats the alternative. 85lbs in 91 weeks is good weight loss! The rate just took a drop off in the second year, which only makes sense. Weight loss isn't linear, even if we like to think of it like that.

Some of the fat I gained during my grief weeks is disappearing off my stomach again, which is great. I've still got a layer of fat on my belly, but my abs are getting more defined underneath it like they were at the end of the F45 challenge. I don't think I can sustain six days a week long term because that took a lot of time and focus, but I would like to do 4-5 days a week regularly if I can.

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Week 53 gain: 1.4 lbs continuing dose at 0.75mg

OZ Week 55 gain: 1.6 lbs

OZ Week 56 loss: 0.6 lbs

OZ Week 57 loss: 2.0 lbs

OZ Week 58 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 61 gain: 5.4 lbs

OZ Week 62 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 63 loss: 3.0 lbs

OZ Week 64 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 65 loss: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 66 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 67 loss: 0 lbs

OZ Week 68 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 69 gain: 0.2 lbs

OZ Week 70 gain: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 71 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 72 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 73 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 74 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 75 loss: 0.8 lb

OS Week 76 gain: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 77 loss: 5.0 lbs

OZ Week 78 gain: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 79 loss: 4.0 lbs

OZ Week 80-87: on hiatus due to grief

OZ Week 88 gain: 9.4 lbs

OZ Week 89 loss: 0.4 lbs raised dose to 0.85mg

OZ Week 90 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 91 loss: 5.2 lbs

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 85 lbs

Week 90 Weigh In

So I forgot to write last week that I had planned to increase my dose just slightly, to 0.85mg. I didn't want to make the jump to 1mg for multiple reasons. First of all, a jump always runs the risk of unpleasant side effects. I've worked my way up slowly every time I increased my dose, and I think it's for the best because I tend to have minimal side effects. Secondly, I know that because my A1C is under control (yay!) that I won't get a prescription increase over 1mg so I want to save that last jump for when I'm much closer to goal and need the boost.

I did find that I have experienced some side effects this week but whether it's from the dose increase or just general distress from grief, I'm not sure. I've been generally not feeling well since the death in my family, and I find that when I'm under stress, the range of food that I can eat narrows dramatically. Everything tastes "spicy" to me and then I can't stomach it unless it's very bland, and since most bland food winds up being simple carbs, it's not ideal for the macros I generally aim for with at least 100g of protein daily. I don't eat low carb, but I do eat low glycemic carb, so I try to stay away from things like crackers, white bread, and potatoes- which are exactly the kinds of things my stomach wants when I'm stressed. The nausea and bloat/discomfort I'm feeling might be typical Ozempic effects but they're also typical grief and stress effects, too. Either way, it doesn't matter. I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. All I can really handle in life right now is one day at a time, so this is just yet another reminder to do that.

Overall, I think I've done fairly well with my eating habits and I did make it to the gym 6 days last week for the trials sessions, and there are more this week as well. I'm hoping to go 5 days this week but we'll see how it goes. I didn't score very well in the trials but that's OK. I don't have high expectations of myself right now. Just showing up and being present for them is enough to be proud of.

And the weight is starting to drop off again, at least a little bit. I guess it'll be a while to get back to where I was before, but there isn't much I can do about that. I can't give up because I still have my HealthyWager on the line and I really need to win that $1341 USD! 

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Week 53 gain: 1.4 lbs continuing dose at 0.75mg

OZ Week 55 gain: 1.6 lbs

OZ Week 56 loss: 0.6 lbs

OZ Week 57 loss: 2.0 lbs

OZ Week 58 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 61 gain: 5.4 lbs

OZ Week 62 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 63 loss: 3.0 lbs

OZ Week 64 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 65 loss: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 66 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 67 loss: 0 lbs

OZ Week 68 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 69 gain: 0.2 lbs

OZ Week 70 gain: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 71 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 72 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 73 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 74 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 75 loss: 0.8 lb

OS Week 76 gain: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 77 loss: 5.0 lbs

OZ Week 78 gain: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 79 loss: 4.0 lbs

OZ Week 80-87: on hiatus due to grief

OZ Week 88 gain: 9.4 lbs

OZ Week 89 loss: 0.4 lbs raised dose to 0.85mg

OZ Week 90 loss: 1.8 lbs

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 79.8 lbs

Week 89 Weigh In

 Well, this was a little disappointing. I had thought that doing my best to get back on track and going to the gym would make more of a difference than that. That being said though, I did get my period last week and it was a rough one, so hormones might be making a difference.

Grief really does mess up your body. I'm starting to wonder if it's thrown me into perimenopause, because I'm starting to have night sweats now and that's not something I've experienced before. I know that weight loss gets much more difficult in menopause and I'm a little concerned that now my body will be fighting to hold onto this fat just as hard as I want to fight to get rid of it. I guess time will tell.

I had bloodwork done, and while my HDL cholesterol is a bit low, my A1C is still holding steady at 4.9 so I guess my recent poor dietary choices aren't having as big of an effect as I thought they would be. Thank you, Ozempic! 

It really has been a rough year so far. I'm past the halfway point for this year and I'm only down ten pounds, which is disappointing. But down is still better than up, and I'm starting to try and click back into my routine of going to the gym more often because I've definitely gained fat around my waist. The smallest pair of jeans I was wearing before my family member died is now too tight to pull up over my hips, and that is definitely a warning sign that I need to put on the brakes, grief or not. I've also noticed that my stomach muscles are less defined because the fat I gained went straight to my stomach. Since I had just gotten rid of a pile of clothes that had gotten too big, I don't have much in any larger sizes and I'm sure not buying new clothes to replace what I just got rid of! So it's time to get back on track in terms of my food intake and exercise.

This week and next week are trials weeks at F45, where they want you to count your reps during sets so that you can compare the results next time there are trials. I know I'm underperforming right now but at least it will be good next time that I should be able to see improvement. Because of trials week though, it means I have to get my butt to the gym! I'm booked in for six classes this week and five next week, so hopefully it will get me back into a healthier routine and I can start whittling away at my waistline again.

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Week 53 gain: 1.4 lbs continuing dose at 0.75mg

OZ Week 55 gain: 1.6 lbs

OZ Week 56 loss: 0.6 lbs

OZ Week 57 loss: 2.0 lbs

OZ Week 58 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 61 gain: 5.4 lbs

OZ Week 62 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 63 loss: 3.0 lbs

OZ Week 64 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 65 loss: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 66 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 67 loss: 0 lbs

OZ Week 68 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 69 gain: 0.2 lbs

OZ Week 70 gain: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 71 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 72 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 73 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 74 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 75 loss: 0.8 lb

OS Week 76 gain: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 77 loss: 5.0 lbs

OZ Week 78 gain: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 79 loss: 4.0 lbs

OZ Week 80-87: on hiatus

OZ Week 88 gain: 9.4 lbs

OZ Week 89 loss: 0.4 lbs raised dose to 0.85mg

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 78 lbs

Week 88 Weigh In

 Well, it's been a rough couple of months. Depression is a bitch. I've really been struggling to do much of anything, let alone plan my meals and work out. I've also learned that apparently grief has a physical effect on your body. I've lost a ton of cardio fitness, stamina, and something has obviously happened to my muscle because I can't lift even close to what I was doing before. 

That's really frustrating. I've worked SO hard to improve my health, and now I have to cope with this huge setback. But we don't get to choose what crap life throws at us or when; we just get to decide how we're going to respond to it.

I don't want to regain all this weight. I don't want to stop going to the gym. I was enjoying it (shhh!) at least a little bit. I don't like the way my body feels when I'm eating too much junk food. While I don't suffer the kinds of effects that many Ozempic patients do when they eat badly, I still get bloated and uncomfortable, and I can actually see the changes in my heart rate on my fitness app from the sodium and saturated fat.

Finding the energy to eat better (if not where I was before) and the energy to go to the gym is still tough, though. It's difficult to engage in self care during grief, which is why I was eating a lot of convenience food. I've been trying to build in those shortcuts as much as possible, so I did reorder Factor meals so that I'd have healthy lunches at a minimum (follow my link to save $80 if you'd like to try them!), and I tried to get a little bit of meal prep done so that there would be ready food in the freezer and I'd be less likely to order takeout if I was exhausted.

So, it's been a rough few weeks and I've definitely gained weight. That being said, I sure don't blame myself. I was and still am mostly in survival mode and that's okay. As long as I don't let myself backslide too far. My therapist says she doesn't think I'll let myself wallow too far even if I want to and she's probably right, but it's just so frustrating. I worked so hard to build up that muscle mass and to feel better about myself and this was really a kick in the teeth.

I can't change what has happened. But I can do my best when I wake up in the morning each day and give myself grace on the bad days. All I can do is my best, and some days are going to be worse than others. It doesn't mean that it's not still my best.

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Week 53 gain: 1.4 lbs continuing dose at 0.75mg

OZ Week 55 gain: 1.6 lbs

OZ Week 56 loss: 0.6 lbs

OZ Week 57 loss: 2.0 lbs

OZ Week 58 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 61 gain: 5.4 lbs

OZ Week 62 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 63 loss: 3.0 lbs

OZ Week 64 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 65 loss: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 66 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 67 loss: 0 lbs

OZ Week 68 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 69 gain: 0.2 lbs

OZ Week 70 gain: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 71 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 72 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 73 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 74 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 75 loss: 0.8 lb

OS Week 76 gain: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 77 loss: 5.0 lbs

OZ Week 78 gain: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 79 loss: 4.0 lbs

OZ Week 80-87: on hiatus

OZ Week 88 gain: 9.4 lbs

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 77.6 lbs

On Temporary Hiatus

 I know not many people read this blog, but I wanted to update nonetheless. 

As I mentioned, last month I lost someone very dear to me and my world has just gone upside down. I am struggling to function at all. I'm either eating too much or not enough and completely ignoring my body's natural cues. I'm exhausted and haven't been able to devote energy to exercise. I'm just not coping well at all.

I am still taking my Ozempic. That being said, I have been completely ignoring its cues. I don't get side effects based on what I eat, so there are no consequences other than I feel gross and I'm regaining weight. I am honestly grateful for that because I don't want to live my life that way with an artificial barrier interfering with my food choices. My response means I have to manage my food intake on my own and I prefer that.

For the time being, it's not conducive to my mental health to be focusing on weight loss. I'm currently focused on just basic survival. That being said, I am trying to at least get to reasonable dietary habits for my health rather than the swing back and forth between not eating and eating too much. I'm also trying to get to the gym simply for my basic physical health.

I'm doing the best I can. Lately that's not very good, but it's the best I can. Getting on the scale when I'm drowning in grief is not going to be a good thing for my mental health, so I'm not going to be doing weekly weigh ins right now.

I'll still write when I can, and I'm not planning on this being a dead end to my blog, not that people ever plan those. But I'm still taking my meds, and I haven't modified my gym subscription yet because I want to have the ability to go when I am able to. I'm wearing my gym clothes today- my plan is to go.

This is one of those life's blows that I've got to make it through and come out the other side without ruining all my hard work, but first I've just got to survive.

Week 79 Weigh In!

 All I can say is, I don't recommend the "death of an immediate family member" diet. My updates may or may not be on time for a while depending on the severity of my nonfunctionality.

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Week 53 gain: 1.4 lbs continuing dose at 0.75mg

OZ Week 55 gain: 1.6 lbs

OZ Week 56 loss: 0.6 lbs

OZ Week 57 loss: 2.0 lbs

OZ Week 58 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 61 gain: 5.4 lbs

OZ Week 62 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 63 loss: 3.0 lbs

OZ Week 64 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 65 loss: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 66 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 67 loss: 0 lbs

OZ Week 68 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 69 gain: 0.2 lbs

OZ Week 70 gain: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 71 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 72 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 73 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 74 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 75 loss: 0.8 lb

OS Week 76 gain: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 77 loss: 5.0 lbs

OZ Week 78 gain: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 79 loss: 4.0 lbs

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 87 lbs

Week 78 Weigh-In!

You know, I'm not disappointed at all to see a small gain this week because last week was crazy. I think it's pretty normal for my body to rebound a little bit after that, and this isn't even very much of a rebound! 

There was a lot of life stress this week as well so I missed going to the gym as often as I had planned. But sometimes that's going to be how it is, and it's okay. I wound up going only 4 days out of 7. But... look at that sentence!!! I "only" went 4 days in the last week. I can't even imagine what any me of the past would have thought reading that! I am doing my best, and it's okay. And this week I'll continue doing my best.

OZ Year 1 loss: 68lbs (click here to see the week-by-week tracker!) 

OZ Week 53 gain: 1.4 lbs continuing dose at 0.75mg

OZ Week 55 gain: 1.6 lbs

OZ Week 56 loss: 0.6 lbs

OZ Week 57 loss: 2.0 lbs

OZ Week 58 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 61 gain: 5.4 lbs

OZ Week 62 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 63 loss: 3.0 lbs

OZ Week 64 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 65 loss: 0.4 lbs

OZ Week 66 loss: 1.8 lbs

OZ Week 67 loss: 0 lbs

OZ Week 68 loss: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 69 gain: 0.2 lbs

OZ Week 70 gain: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 71 loss: 2.4 lbs

OZ Week 72 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 73 loss: 2.2 lbs

OZ Week 74 loss: 1.0 lb

OZ Week 75 loss: 0.8 lb

OS Week 76 gain: 1.4 lbs

OZ Week 77 loss: 5 lbs

OZ Week 78 gain: 0.4 lbs

Total loss on Ozempic so far: 83 lbs