Another hard post to write. I've had a lot of stuff going on lately and it feels like everything has just piled up on me. Pretty much since I've been sick, I've gone way, way off track, almost to the point where I think I didn't want myself to succeed anymore.
I don't like making excuses. I don't believe in them since I'm the only one stopping me from reaching my goals. So instead, I'll just say that I've really been letting myself down. I've really lost my fire and determination to keep going because I just feel so down lately.
I know I've regained some of my weight since my last weigh in but I'm giving it until Sunday before I get back on the scale. I really don't want to know, honestly; I'm eating worse than I ever did at my highest weight. And my body hates it! I feel so much better when I'm eating healthy food then when I eat this crap.
I'm not really feeling motivated to continue right now, but I know that I have a choice. I can find a way to get through this and keep going, or I can keep doing what I'm doing and flush all my hard work down the toilet. That doesn't sound very appealing, either. I am proud to say that I've been back on plan now for two full days and right now, I'm just trying to take things one day at a time.
It really didn't help that the other day, I got an email with so much negativity from someone who I thought was a friend. She told me that she doesn't think that even if I get to a healthy body weight that I'll ever be able to maintain it and she doesn't want to sit by and watch me gain a hundred pounds. That really hurt. And it doesn't make sense since I should be more determined as a result, but instead it made it even harder for me to focus on losing again.
So right about now, I could really use some positive thoughts. They say that everyone who is losing weight needs support at some point, and I certainly could. So if you've stuck with me this far, I'd really like to hear from you.
And in the meantime, I'll keep trying to take things one day at a time. I've come too far to let it all go now, no matter how lousy I feel.
Susan,
ReplyDeleteI feel you. I've been terrified of gaining back all my own weight and more since I reached my goal. Every time I go off track, I think "This is it. I'm done for.". But it's not that easy. People go off track all the time, in everything in life, not just weight loss. The thing to remember is that tomorrow is another day. Another day to do something different, to make a better choice, to renew your dedication to the thing(s) you want the most. One day, or one week, of bad choices, doesn't make you a failure.
And screw what that person said. Prove her wrong.
-Amanda
Well, I just want to tell you again that your blog has been so instrumental in helping me successfully lose weight on Nutrisystem. I thank you for encouraging me. Now I want to encourage you. Look how far you've come! Please don't give up. You are worth giving yourself the very best and that means a healthy life. Sincerely,
ReplyDeleteArlene
You've had a rough week.I know it's hard.Please try to remember the number on the scale does not define you.Staying motivated is just about impossible when you're sick and raising a family.With all the responsibilities that we have each day,it's hard to find time to work out or even plan a "healthy" meal.It helps for me to take a three day sabbatical.It allows me to not dwell on my goals.Giving me the time I need to clear my mind.You don't have to get a babysitter and plan a trip.Who can afford that?I just make myself relax.It's harder than it sounds.Spend that time doing crafts or reading.I find that some "me" time is all I need to get me back on track.You're doing great.You just hit a bump in the road.When you're feeling down fill your mind with positives.You give that away freely here on the blog.Save some for yourself.You're an inspiration to more people than you even know.Try the sabbatical idea.What could it hurt?
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you're having a rough time. This is a journey--remember--so you will have some valleys and hills along the way. Just out of curiousity--are you running or working out at all i addition to NS? That has changed my lifestyle completely. One I'm done working out, I have no desire to eat anything bad--it's cuz I worked so hard to burn those calories, I don't want to eat anything with sugar (unless it's fruit) or anything highly caloric.
ReplyDeleteGood luck! Love your blog.
I've just begun following you a couple of weeks ago and I want to say that you are doing a fabulous job. Don't let an off week throw you!!! Don't let a 'friend's' crummy email get you off either!!!
ReplyDeleteI know that it is hard. Sometimes I think that I am looking for any excuse possible to stay overweight. I let any little thing get me off track, but that is what got us here in the first place. So who cares if you have been eating poorly while you weren't feeling good. You have now been on track for two days, and look at your history!!! You have been doing wonderfully!!!
The thing that I think it is important to remember more than anything is patience and to be kind to yourself in the process. Thank you for sharing because I wrote those words for myself as much as for you!!! It will be ok. Each day is a new one.
oh my dear girl!! I am so sorry that someone you know had to take their own bad feelings towards w/e it may be, out on you. That is unfair.
ReplyDeleteWe are here to pick you up, you can do this, you can get up and get moving love!! After all it will only make you more happy! I suffer from depression and find it hard to get out of bed most days, but you just got to pick yourself up and start again! You can't succeed unless you start!
One thing I love about you is your honesty. It helps keep you real and also helps show everyone that it's not always easy to keep focus, but if you don't give up you can reach your weight loss goals.
ReplyDeleteYou have come a LONG way and have inspired tons of people, myself included. I know you can get back on track and I know you can keep it off. You may have a few bumps here and there but that is life, as long as you get back on track that is what matters.
Love ya.
Fay says...
ReplyDeleteSusie, you have been an inspiration to many because of your honesty and integrity in this lifelong process. We all have ups and downs and life sometimes throws us curveballs. Sometimes, those curveballs tell us we're moving in the wrong direction and need to re-route. They can awaken things in us that need to be awakened so that we can move forward in a more positive way to achieve our goals. That's not a bad thing but yes, getting hit with a curve ball hurts.
Re-focus, re-group, and move forward. You can do this!
I want to beat up your ex-friend. What a beyotch, and such a horrible thing to say. Flush that negativity.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the 2 days and the fresh start!!!
One thing you have to do is give yourself grace. You do a great job and your struggles show everyone that they have the inner-strength to overcome obstacles and to face them head on.
And, you are sending me your old fat clothes...so, you will not have anything to wear if you gain weight back. :-)