Confession

Well, they say confession is good for the soul, right? Well, in this case, it's pretty embarrassing, too, so I hope something good comes of it.

I know that I've been backsliding lately. I haven't been as careful with what I'm eating and it hasn't bothered me as much. That may have contributed to my lower than usual losses lately or it may just be starting to slow down. I wasn't being ridiculous, just having slightly larger servings of things.

I've also been having ridiculous cravings for junk food. Earlier this week, it was Chinese. I managed to get over that one and made myself Chicken Lo Mein but with shrimp. To kill that sweet and sour craving I breaded a few shrimp with breadcrumbs and baked them and dipped them in a little sweet and sour sauce. I was really proud of myself for the way I handled that one.

Today was a really bad day. I'm sick and exhausted (my husband is out of town), my son is teething, and it's that time of the month. I could not stop thinking about PIZZA. Not the little NS pizzas- big, thick crust pizza dripping with cheese and garlic. I considered trying to fix an NS pizza that way and realized I'd be way over anyway if I did that since my favourite pizza has 4 cheeses on it. Finally, by the time I put my son to bed, I just gave in and ordered a pizza. And I ate it.

You know what? It didn't taste really good. The first bite was good but after that all I tasted was grease. And I still don't know why, but I ate it anyway, and now I feel really sick.

It was a really stupid thing to do. Not only for the obvious reason, but it was twenty dollars! You read about people complaining about the cost of NS food and a dinner is what, four bucks? I can't believe I wasted all that money!

But really- I have come too far to quit now. I need to recommit myself to NS because I know that it works. I mean, look at me! I've lost nearly 62lbs so far this year! And like I said in my previous posts, I don't want to abandon this blog and become another statistic.

So here is my confession, and my promise. I will NOT quit. My son needs his mother to be healthy and fit. And that pizza definitely wasn't worth it. I really feel like I need to throw up! Maybe I can treat this as aversion therapy?

I really considered not writing this post and pretending that it never happened. But it did, and I can either learn from the experience or be doomed to repeat it. I also (under all the shame and embarrassment) wanted to share it with you. I'm not perfect, and I make mistakes just like everyone else. If you have a moment like this in your weight loss journey, don't let it ruin everything for you. Tomorrow is a new day, and we just have to dust ourselves off and get back up with a smile.

Tomorrow is a new day. Back to basics. I can do this!